Amy,
You're not going to read this, so instead I'm going to tell the people who are reading this what you're like. Hopefully it will cause people to understand why you're the person this letter is for.
I joined my senior school as the only person from my primary school to be attending that year. The only person in our year I knew was a girl called Katie who had an older brother on my sister's football team. Katie, her older brother, my sister and a couple of her friends were the only people in a school of over 1000 children that I had knowledge of. And I was terrified.
Fast forward to my second year there, I had a fair amount of friends. Did I like all of them? No. Was I friends with them because it was convenient? Yes. And then in one art class during year eight, my (genuine) friend called Francesca got me talking to a girl.
Amy was tall, skinny, gorgeous, played hockey and liked horses. That was all I knew of her. So when this mythical, majestic creature seemed to take somewhat of an interest in me and my lack of music taste, it was exciting. She implored me to go home and listen to Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. I did so, and they became my favourite band.
That art class and meeting Amy changed my whole life. From there I got new friends, new tastes, and started on the path to becoming the person I am today.
Around the age of thirteen I started to question a lot of things, and I would say that I've been suffering from an existential crisis since then. One thing in particular that I began to question was my sexuality- Amy being a core factor in my confusion [Amy, if you're reading this, please don't feel uncomfortable. We have spoken about this before, you gorgeous slut]. One night I freaked her out by informing her of my feelings, thinking that I had a crush on her.
What I didn't realise at the time while being so caught up in all my questioning was that though I really fucking loved Amy, I wasn't in love with her. The thing was that I had never before had a friend like her, I'd never wanted to please someone so much. I literally changed myself for her, she meant more to me than my family. So I mistook all of this for infatuation, for lust, when in fact she was simply the closest person to me.
Half a decade later she is still my best friend and platonic soul mate.
Here's to half a decade more, eh?
