'Second Best'
He takes you out to dinner, the local burger bar,
He picks you up an hour late, had trouble with his car.
He takes his time to order, and then you take the hint,
He's looking for the cheapest dish because he's nearly skint.
You talk about the weather, he talks about his car,
You ask him what his dreams are, he says to travel far.
You're getting really interested, he seems to spark a fire,
Until he says he can't go yet, he needs a new front tyre.
You get your food, you start to eat, outside it starts to rain,
He squirts the ketchup, hits your dress, it leaves a dirty stain.
Never mind, he says to you, he seems a caring guy,
Then he adds, she won't get wet, I've parked her somewhere dry.
You say you have a sister, her name is Mary Anne.
He said he knew a girl called that, his first and only van.
Now he's got a motor, she races like a dream,
But every time she does a mile, her bonnet gives off steam.
You're getting rather tired, this topics really boring,
If he doesn't change his tune you know you'll end up yawning.
He asks you If you'd like a drive, a run around the town,
You both jump in, it sets off great, then promptly it breaks down.
He stops a passing copper, you think that's really nice.
He seems concerned about his girl so asks a cops advice
He says she's getting mighty cold and that it's getting late,
To make it worse, he says in vain, I'm stuck here with my date!
Guys with cars will always place you second to their pride,
So when you've met em' never let em' take you for a ride!
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