He takes you to the dentist
When it's meant to be a date
He's got a raging toothache
And he really cannot wait
He shows this tough guy image
And insists it won't take long
He'll have a quick extraction
Then your date will be back on.
But once inside the building
The macho image goes
As the waft of dentist chemicals
Come floating round his nose
He's taken to the dentist chair
His face a shade of blue
Perspiring on his forehead
While he pleads that you come too
Laying back, the light pulled down
He's told. ' Now open wide '
He takes your hand, then squeezes it
And bang goes all his pride.
The spotlight starts to blind him
And he says he cannot see
'Then close your eyes!' the dentist snaps
'It's not for you, but me!'
You offer him your sunglasses
As the dentist preps to numb him
He asks you if they suit him
And you say they don't become him
The dentist points the needle
And your date jumps up in fright
You're yanked so high that you almost fly
And you head-butt out the light!
The dentist drops the needle
And he's not impressed at all
So he grabs his de-scale instruments
And begins to scale the wall
Now look here, I'm a dentist
And you claimed you were in pain
All I've witnessed so far
Is a coward who is vain!'
Your date picks up a plastic cup
That's there to take a swill
But he takes a drink and he starts to shrink
As the dentist aims the drill
His legs are kicking everywhere
But your hand and head just throb
So you let the dentist torture him
He will do a better job!
