Feels like Home

17. First Cut is the Deepest

I wake up the morning of the snowstorm in my high school bedroom. I wish Luca were with me. We had slept in the same bed for the past two nights, and, apparently, my body was missing the proximity. Luca and I had mutually agreed to not let my parents know about us. Hell, I don't even know what us is.

I know I'm developing feelings for Luca, which is practically a milestone for me. I haven't allowed myself to even entertain the idea of another man since Jason, since now I know the truth: relationships will always hurt, one way or another. Why put myself through that?

I look out the window and see that it has stopped snowing. I quickly get dressed and head downstairs. The smell of coffee leads my nose directly to the kitchen, where I see Luca and my mom sitting at the counter, talking quietly.

My mom pops up when she see me, "Good morning, sleepy head."

I rub my eyes while heading to the coffee maker. "Why would I get up early if I don't have to work?" It's true. I love sleep more than basically anything.

"Your dad has already been out. He says the roads are pretty clear." That gets my attention. Luca and I can leave...and be alone. I look at him, and he's trying to not look at me. I can see him holding back a smile, trying to not be obvious in front of my mom.

I pour my coffee into a travel mug, we quickly say our goodbyes, and Luca and I are off. Although the roads are drivable, I still have to be careful, so we don't talk much on the way back to Luca's.

Once I park in his driveway, however, our faces slam together. I thought having sex last night would ebb our sexual desires, but I think it did the opposite. We break apart and wordlessly walk toward the front door. Luca tries his keys but realizes it's unlocked. "I guess Mrs. Goldstein forgot to lock it back up," he says, shrugging. We live in a safe community, no one is going to break into his house in the middle of the day.

Luca opens the door for me, and I slide inside. As I'm passing him, he pinches my behind, making me jump. Once he closes the door, I grab the collar of his coat, pulling him to me. "I'm going to make you pay for that"

We start kissing and undressing each other, right in the front entry way. I have a passing thought that it was odd Buster wasn't there to great us at the door. We are down to our shirts and pants when we hear someone clearing his throat. We immediately freeze and look in the direction of the sound.

Beau is standing there, arms crossed, staring directly at Luca, Buster at his side. "May I ask what the fuck you are doing here?"

Beau did not give Luca a chance to respond before he whipped out his phone and called his mother, getting to the bottom of this.

Apparently, Nancy thought it would be a good idea to get the boys to interact by asking Beau to stay at her house for a few days while she was gone, not telling either of them that the other would be there. While it was a valiant effort, it did not have her desired results. Beau immediately walked to his bedroom and started packing his suitcase.

"Beau, you don't have to go. Please, Beau, talk to me. You know how sorry I am." Luca chased after him.

I figured I should probably give them some time alone, so I quietly began to pull on my boots and winter coat. I walked outside, but before I reached my car, I heard the front door slam and saw Beau standing on the front porch, suitcase sitting in the snow next to his feet, pulling out his phone.

He was calling for a car to pick him up and bring him to the airport. "Thirty minutes?!? Are you serious? Do you know what temperature it is outside? No, I have no where inside to go." He hung up angrily.

I couldn't let him sit out here in the cold. "Beau?" I said, tentatively. He looked up at like he had just noticed I had been there. "Do you need a ride? Or do you just want to wait with me in my car? It's warmer than out here."

He nodded reluctantly. "Okay, Shell. Thank you."

He opened my passenger door and let himself in while I sat down in the driver's seat. He left his suitcase outside; he was obviously frazzled.

He spoke first. "Do you know what you're doing with him, Shelley? I mean, really? You need to be careful."

"He told me all about the past. Beau, I'm telling you, he is so sorry. You should see the way he talks about you. If he could go back in time, I know he would do it differently."

Beau scoffed. "Oh I'm sure he would. Try to avoid prison next time. Did he tell you what he did to me, Shell?"

"Well...not specifically I guess." I said, thinking back.

"I'm not surprised," Beau looks up at me and grabs both my hands in his. "Shell, he stole everything from me. Every dime I made working my ass off through high school, missing summers and break so I could work two--or sometimes three--jobs. He took it all."

I must looked shocked because Beau continues, "He stole my ID, went to the bank and withdrew my entire savings, fifteen thousand. We look so much alike, the teller never even questioned it."

He takes a deep breath. "And he never even had the balls to tell me. I didn't find out until I went to deposit my paycheck and looked at the balance. He had been gone for a week at that point, and no one ever knew where he went. That was when he would be gone for months at a time, show up for a couple weeks, and take off again. I was supposed to leave for college in two weeks. I didn't know what I was going to do. I had nothing."

"So...what did you do?" I am dumbfounded. This couldn't possibly be the same Luca who I'd spent the last three days with.

"My mom was able to help me until I could get some student loans, the very thing I didn't want. She begged me not to press charges against the asshole."

We hear a car pull up behind me in the driveway. It must be the one he called for. Before he could leave, I grabbed his arm and pulled him into a hug, across the center console.

"Shelley," he said over my shoulder. "I don't know what you are doing here. But, I'm begging you, be careful." I nod my head and release him.

He smiles, for the first time today. "I'm going home to my wife and son. Tell Luca he can fuck off."

Daaaaaaaaaamn!!!

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