I couldn't find Harry, he said he would be at school so I looked everywhere for him. My friends told me just to give up and he would show up but I knew I didn't have any classes with him till the next day. The day went slowly, people gave me weird looks as my eyes darted around the rooms looking for Harry. There was no sign of him until the end of the day when I found a note in my locker, it read-
June,
You said you will never forget me, I will never forget you either but due to some events that have happened in the past few days, I am leaving and I don't have the heart to tell you in person. I regret not seeing you today and I miss you dearly but I had no choice. Good bye June.
xoxo Love Harry
P.S. I love you
I chocked up, Harry was leaving? I was beginning to get water eyes so I left the school as fast as I could. This occurrence had triggered some bad memories. My dad leaving, mum crying, getting bullied at school. He had left me just as others before him. I felt as if I wasn't wanted. First I felt sad then angry. He had left me, he was just like my dad. They all fucking left me. I'm useless, unloved. I didn't belong in the world and it was all there fucking fault! But of course it wasn't really there fault, Harry didn't know my dad left me when I was young, he didn't know I was bullied. The sadness came in again. My eyes were watering as I ran to the tram stop. I got over by the time I was on the t ram, I didn't want to make a scene. I got home and mum was gone, I ran strait into my room. I cried and cried and cried. After I was done crying I ran straight to mum's room, she kept dad's stuff in his drawer, untouched from when he left. I dug in it and found a razor. I made my way to the bathroom and leant my arm over the sink. I got the razor and flinched, squinting my eyes, I couldn't look. I griped the razor and dug it into my skin, deep & fast. I held in a scream but felt some relief when it came out. The pain from my wrist got my mind off the pain in my heart and the hurt dripped away like the blood on the blade. I went into my room and looked under my bed for a box, I grabbed all the stuff in my room that reminded me of Harry. I heard mum open the front door and come in. I was rushing to get the blade back in the drawer when I tripped and cut a long line all the way up my arm, I screeched and fell to the floor in pain. Mum came running in and screamed when she saw me like that.
"JUNE?! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? FUCK! QUICK, COME TO THE BATHROOM," she said as I stumble to my feet grasping my arm. Mum dragged me into the bathroom cleaning my wound, "Why would you DO this?!?! you're a GOOD girl, you do as your told!"
"mum I slipped,"
"yes dear, with a razor in your hand. I swear, if you keep going on like this I'll send you to counciling!"
"MUM, it was an ACCIDENT!"
"DON'T USE THAT TONE WITH ME, YOU BROUGHT IT ON YOUR SELF. WHY ARE YOU BEING SO UNGRATEFUL?!" she said scrubbing harder
"agh!" I said pulling my arm back, "that hurts!"
"I'm helping you, quit being a wuss and give me your arm!" mum was being a bit of a bitch, I had no idea why.
"MUM!!! Graghhhh THAT HURTS, STOP!!!"
"okay fine, if it gets infected don't come crying to me!" she said, putting her arms up, surrendering. I slammed my door closed and heard mum mumble something like 'that ungrateful little.........l wonder why put up with her.........'
Mum had forgotten I still had the blade so I dug it in me one more time.
Through the weeks I got completely depressed. I wore only black and red and continued to cut myself. Mum got more abusive as well as getting me a councilor and I ended up having to move to a boarding school for troubled kids. I was dreading my first day, the uniform was hideous even if it was just black, white and red. It was a red and black plaid skirt a white blouse and a red and black striped tie. I took the skirt up so it was real short, I undid the first two buttons on my top and loosened the tie. I also wore black lipstick, red eye shadow and some black eyeliner. I got to school and all these kids were like me; altered uniforms, some had nose or tongue rings, dyed hair and tattoos. I spotted one kid with bright pink hair, she had changed her uniform to the same as me, she gave me a death glare as I passed her & into the the reception. There was a quite chubby lady in floral clothes and glasses on a chain around her neck at the desk. She looked very bored and rolled her eyes swinging her chair in my direction when she saw me come in.
