wilderness | paul lahote

{11}

Somehow I had fallen asleep in the warmth of the fire, and Paul. I was at the state of almost dreaming, yet being conscious at the same time, leaning my head on top of Paul's shoulder while his arm was holding my waist. I could faintly hear people talking, but it all was a blur in the midst of my dreamlike state.

I could feel Paul pulling me closer. His heartbeat was evident, beating faster and louder. As if he was nervous. There was something so relaxing and comforting about the sound.

"Is she sleeping?" I could hear Emily's soft voice asking. I was too tired to answer, my eyelids had felt too heavy to even open.

"I think so," I could hear Paul whisper back to Emily. "Should I take her home?"

There was silence, until I felt myself being lifted. There was no effort. I felt myself being light as a feather, floating along in the night. The warmth was still with me, surrounding me. I snuggled closer to it, wrapping my arms around the source of it. Wanting more. I felt it vibrating, as if it was laughing.

"I'm going to get you to bed, okay?" He whispered softly. My nod was weak, but I was sure he could still understand.

I was sad when I felt myself being placed down somewhere, it smelled of petrol. I had guessed we were in a car. The warmth was gone now, making the air outside real again, against my cheeks.

The car door closed, and soon enough another one opened, someone sitting in the drivers seat, starting the car, and driving off. The whole ride had been a blur, only thing noticeable had been the warmth against my knee and thigh, rubbing soft circles ever so often.

I had been carried somewhere again. The familiar heat back against my body, soon to be gone again as I felt myself lay on a bed. The familiar scent of the sage candle, that I had kept on my bedside table, let me know I was back at Sam and Emily's place. In my bed.

I pulled the blankets on top of me, shivering again. I didn't open my eyes, I couldn't through the sleepiness that drowned me. The door creaked. "Goodnight, Ari." I heard Paul's familiar voice through the mist of my own dreams.

"Wait," I whispered. I hoped he had heard. "Please stay. I'm cold."

I heard his low chuckle again, as the door to my room shut and his footsteps could be heard walking over to the bed. He seemed to have hesitated, before I felt the bed tip and the comfort returning as he was close to me. His arm snaked over my waist, on the blanket, and soon enough I drifted off, into the land of dreams. 

The beach was empty. Nothing but the wind and the waves crashing against the white shoreline. My hair flew into every direction as I stood there, my bare feet in the sand. Yet in the middle of the cold, I had felt warm. Warmer than I had ever been. I felt at peace. A rustle from behind me, behind the thick treeline of the magically green forest, made me turn around. Everything around me went dark. Only a pair of glowing eyes looking back at me from the darkness. Everything in me screamed for me to run as I took steps towards the glow.

I woke up to the sound of heavy rain tapping on my window. Everything from the previous night came back to me as I saw a russet hand resting over my body. To my right lay Paul, softly snoring as he slept. The most peaceful I had ever seen this strange boy. I smiled to myself at the sight. Sadly, my peacefulness had been destroyed by someone barging in through the door, making Paul jolt awake.

"Well would you look at these two," Jared shouted as he stepped into my room, Embry following his steps, smiling from ear to ear. "Embry, I found Paul." Jared smirked. I groaned, throwing my hands over my face.

"You guys are so annoying," I said into my hands. I felt something being pulled from behind me and Jared shouting an ouch. Looking back at the two obnoxious boys standing in my door, I noticed my pillow on the floor and Jared rubbing his face. Next to me, Paul was smirking proudly, his eyes still annoyed.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Jared asked, as Embry laughed loudly behind him.

"You ruined my sleep." Paul groggily said as he rubbed his eyes. His morning voice awaking the too familiar butterflies again.

"Boys, it's not nice to run into someone's room like that." Emily had now come upstairs too. She ushered the two boys out of my room, Paul following them. "I'm sorry for those two. Literally even chains wouldn't hold them still." She rolled her eyes.

"It's okay, I was up anyway." I smiled at her.

"Well, get ready. I made breakfast and if you want any, you should be fast." She giggled as I jumped out of the bed.

I had slept in the clothes from the night before, minus Paul's black jacket that had been placed on the chair at the corner of the room. I smiled as I remembered the nice Paul that had decided to show himself to me. A part of me was still wary of him though, I didn't want to let myself get too invested in someone. Especially knowing how quick that someone changed.

I changed my T-shirt, put my shoes on and threw my hair into a messy bun before making my way out of my room and downstairs.

The scent of fresh coffee and pancakes coming from the kitchen made me realise how hungry I was. I fastened my pace.

Jared, Embry and Paul were all sitting at the table, while Emily and Sam were standing outside on the front porch, under the roof as the rain showered down. Talking and smiling.

I sat down at a spot where Emily had laid out a plate of pancakes and a cup of fresh coffee. The food was delicious as always. For the first time ever, we all managed to sit and eat in silence. I could feel someone occasionally looking at me, my best bet had been on Paul. He must've been as confused as I was. Or not. Jacob had been right about never knowing what goes on in that head of his. I wished I understood.

After eating I went and sat on the porch behind the house. Something about the smell of rain had always been so appealing to me. I closed my eyes as I sat on one of the deck chairs. Listening to the rain pelting down around me. Taking in the freshness of it all. It was cleansing, both for the nature and the mind. Maybe that had been one of the many reasons I had always loved when it rained.

I opened my eyes as Paul walked over, taking a seat on the other chair next to mine. I closed my eyes again.

"It's nice, isn't it?" He asked.

"Mhm," was all I answered. Too caught up in the comfort and beauty of this weather.

"You look beautiful like this," the words had shocked me, in a good way. I did my best not to show it, hoping for the blush to not be too noticeable on my pale cheeks.

I slowly opened my eyes, he was still looking at me. "You mean to tell me I'm not beautiful always? Only now?" I tried to hide my pleasant shock with jokes.

He smiled, showing off his perfectly white teeth. "No. You're always beautiful."

I quickly looked away, to the forest surrounding us. I had not understood how someone like Paul - the handsome, russet skinned, strange boy, who confused me ever so much - had called me, your ordinary everyday girl, beautiful.

We sat a little longer in silence. Both just listening to the nature around us. I was the first one to break the silence, not looking at him. "I see you're being nice again. Will it last this time?" I half whispered the last part.

He didn't answer at first. I didn't dare look towards him, in fear I had pissed him off somehow again. "I hope so." He finally answered.

And weirdly enough, I had hoped so too.