Have a Little Hope

18. Have a Little Surprise

Not much to say this time, but I hope you like this chapter! Lemme know what you think as always please! Oh and irony with the video btw :P 

Cole has just picked me and Jennifer up from dancing, and despite me currently being a sweaty mess, he insists I look like a hot mess, which got him an eye roll. Thankfully, he’s not in the low mood he was in towards the end of the evening yesterday after what happened with Esme. I would have been inconsolable had Belle done that to me and walked out on me. I still feel guilty though. I want him to patch things up with Esme, but he knows her better than I do and from the sounds of it, he needs her to cool down first.  

‘Do you have your mum’s number?’ He asks as he drives us back to his house. Jennifer is busy playing on her Nintendo DS dogs and is completely occupied so we can talk freely.

Shyly, I nod. ‘I don’t want to ring her though.’

‘You don’t have to want to, but you should. Life’s too short for you to avoid her when she’s trying,’ he says, indicating to turn into his road.

‘You don’t know how it felt to lose my mum at 7 though, Cole. I’m not just going to allow her to walk back into my life like that. I don’t like her,’ I grumble and push the button to put the window down.

‘I didn’t know I had two kids in the car,’ he quips as he pulls into the drive and pokes his tongue out at me. He looks rather adorable when he does that which makes me smile. ‘Come on, the sooner you ring her, the better you’ll feel.’

We leave the car and head straight up to Cole’s room and I take the chair at his desk and type the number into my phone. Cole sits beside me on the massive beanie cushion he has, allowing him to rest one hand on my knee for support, as the dial tone begins to ring, when I hear her voice.

‘Hello?’

‘It’s Hope,’ I answer sharply.

Cole nudges me, probably telling me to relax, but I ignore him.

‘Hope, I’ve been trying to catch you. How are you?’

‘What did you want?’ I ask, getting straight to the point and ignoring her questions, when Cole turns my face to look at him and mouths ‘lighten up’ to which I narrow my eyes at him.

‘Well, as you ask, I’m getting married next weekend and I’d really like you to be there.’

I feel my throat choke up and I chuck the phone down and rush out the room and straight to the bathroom where the bile rising up my throat finds its way into the toilet basin. Waves after waves, I throw up when I feel my hair being scooped up and Cole’s large hands gently rubbing up and down my back. ‘Baby, are you okay?’ He asks worriedly.

My heart melts when I hear him call me baby and I pull away from the toilet and wipe my mouth with some toilet roll and shake my head. ‘She’s getting married, Cole. Married!’

His eyes widen and he gives me a sorrowful look. He knows why this hurts.

I used to dream when I was eight or nine that my mum would come back to me and my dad; that she’d realise what she was missing out on and never want to leave her husband or daughter again. It soon became apparent that she was enjoying her freedom and status of single with no strings attached too much and she never returned except for fleeting visits.

‘She’s moved on. She really has,’ I whisper. ‘I can’t talk to her, Cole. Not anymore.’

He doesn’t answer, just helps me up from the bathroom floor and leads me back to his bedroom.

‘I’m proud that you tried,’ he tells me as I lie back on his bed. Cole lies beside me and links our hands together as he turns the radio on. I cuddle into his side and kiss where his heart is. I slide my hand up his T-shirt to feel his scar and see his eyes watch me.