Have a Little Hope

30. Have a Little Ultimatum

Hiya! So there are only two more chapters after this one :O It makes me ever so sad HALH is coming to an end, but I hope you enjoy the closing chapters and do let me know what you think of them :) enjoyyyyy! 

Cole looks at me for a few moments, processing that it’s actually me and says, ‘You’re blonde.’

Awkwardly, I run my hand through my new blonde hair and nod. ‘Yeah.’ I pause for a few moments before asking, ‘Can we talk? Please?’

Cole can’t take his eyes off of my hair, but nods and suggests I follow him through. He walks up the stairs and heads for his bedroom and lets me do the same. He sits on his chair as I take the bed and I just stare at him, taking in the boy I have missed so much. Tears begin to well up in my eyes as I scan him up and down and Cole looks worriedly at me.

‘Hope?’ He questions, before I can’t help but cry. A few moments later, I feel his hands pull me up from his bed and he wraps me in his strong arms. Neither of us says anything, but Cole let’s me cry in his arms as he soothes me to calm down. His fingers run through the back of my hair as he whispers for me to relax. After my tears subside, we both sit back down on the bed and I tell him honestly, ‘I needed to see you because I can’t let us be like this. I miss you so much. I know, I was stupid, I still am kind of scared and I’m worried about everything, but it’s because I love you so much. I really love you, Cole and I need you to know that I meant it when I said it.’

My eyes are streaming now and my heartbeat is now frantic, but I don’t care. I need things to be okay between us. I need us to be back to how we were, even just as friends if that is even possible, so I need to tell him everything. I feel Cole’s hands gently rub at my waist, trying to soothe me.

He doesn’t say anything for a few moments but just looks at me. Not even telling him I love him is helping anymore.

‘So that’s why you’ve come back, to patch things up? To get back together again?’ He clarifies with a husky voice.

I twist my lips and nod my head warily. Cole takes a deep breath in and rubs at his jaw line.

‘You don’t want us back together, do you?’ I say, voicing what he must be feeling.

His eyes snap to mine and he looks alarmed. ‘That’s not true, Hope.’

‘Then what’s wrong?’ I ask, frowning. Why won’t he be straight with me?  

He rakes his right hand through his mussed up hair and sighs, ‘What’s wrong is that I’m not sure you’re thinking this all through. You’re high on emotions and adrenaline right now and you’re telling me all the things I’ve been desperate to here. I thought we were over, Hope. You made it pretty clear when you walked out of that hospital what was happening to us and now you’re back again. You were scared to be with me because of my heart, well it’s not going to change-‘

‘I know! I know nothing is going to change with your heart and health, but it’s more important to me now that I spend the time with the man I love, even if that’s shorter than everyone else’s romances, I can’t spend my life without you in it, but if you don’t want to be with me, then fine, you need to tell me that, but I want to be there for you. I want to support you and show you that I can be strong for you when times are tough.’

‘How will I know that all of that is true?’ He challenges.

‘You’ll let me prove it to you,’ I squeak out.

He doesn’t say anything for over a minute, before looking at me and twisting his lips. ‘Hope, I’m not gonna lie, I still love you, but I think you need to think seriously about this. I’m fine now, I’ve been discharged from hospital, they’ve changed my drugs and the outlook is good, but that could all change and I don’t know if you can deal with that. I don’t blame you for not feeling strong enough to, but you need to be realistic.’