Rad Bad Cool Cops

Uh, uh, uh, uh-oh

Elwood awoke to… a surprisingly empty house. He opened his bedroom door, expecting to see Tommy Gun and BB and Peg Leg sitting there, talking loudly to each other, but instead all he saw was Cycon, still sitting on the kitchen table, looking straight ahead at the wall with a scary blank expression.

It didn’t last long. Cycon’s face revved into action and they turned to look at Elwood cheerfully. “Good morning.”

“Uh, hey,” Elwood said, skittering past Cycon and escaping into the kitchen. He poured himself a bowl of cereal that he downed in two massive spoonfulls.

He could feel Cycon’s eyes on him as he ate at the counter, which he was doing because there was a ROBOT SITTING on his TABLE, so he couldn’t use it.

Elwood grabbed at his cellphone, which had been on the counter charging overnight. He had a new call from one Russel whatever-his-last-name-was. It annoyed Elwood to see the voicemail notification popping up, so he reluctantly brought the phone to his ear after dialing his voicemail number.

“Hey, Elwood. I know we called you recently but it’s getting kinda packed at the wedding - Red Herring has a pretty big family. We definitely need to know soon, since we can only save a seat with BB for so long. Anyway. Bye.”

The call cut short, as per the usual with Russel. Elwood was about to take the phone away from his face when it vibrated very loudly in his ear. He quickly took it away from his head and looked down at the screen. A text had come in from BB. Elwood opened it, and was surprised at the message it held.

He strolled over to the door and flung it open. BB and Tommy Gun were standing there, lookin chill af despite the hot America Town, USA weather.

“What are you doing out here?” Elwood muttered, ushering them inside where it was relatively cool. “You usually just burst in.”

BB shrugged, removing his cowboy hat and also his shirt, discarding both to the couch. “We just didn’t know if you were still sleepin’ or not, Woody. Hoo boy, it’s hot as a whorehouse on nickel night out there.”

Tommy Gun pointedly ignored BB’s shirtless state, and instead focused on releasing the disembodied head of Stone Phillips from her briefcase. She set him down on the coffee table so he could have a good view of just about everything in Elwood’s very small apartment.

“Hey Elwood! Where’s all the hot babes-bab-bba-ba-bba-ba-baZINGA WHOS THAT?” Stone Phillips gasped dramatically, catching sight of Cycon sitting on Elwood’s table, smiling brightly at everyone.

“Oh,” Elwood deadpanned. Everyone was looking at Cycon now, who didn’t seem to mind the attention. “That’s, uh, Cycon. They can talk now.”

Tommy Gun dove back into her briefcase for something. BB strolled over, scratching at his chin and inspecting Cycon up close and personal.

“Good morning,” Cycon said brightly in their Microsoft Sam voice.

BB pulled back. “Wtf?”

Tommy Gun pulled out a bunch of wires out of her briefcase. “A-ha,” she said, not referencing the hit 80s band but instead using it as an exclamation of her discovery. She hustled over to Cycon and began plugging the wires into various parts of their body, in tiny holes Elwood hadn’t even noticed. He felt a little embarrassed watching this go on, so he looked away.

BB noticed and wrapped a friendly arm around Elwood’s shoulders to distract him. “Hey, partner, where’s that pirate broad at? As much as I hate to admit it, it ain’t the full gang without her, ya know?”

Elwood hadn’t even noticed that she hadn’t come back. . "Did she go back to Tommy Gun's place?"

"Naw, cowgirl said she didn't see her," BB said. There was a hint of concern in his voice, even though he didn't really like the pirate. "She seemed kinda out of it back at the laboratory place."