Hope Begins to Fade

Runaway

Matt's hangover was something to behold. When I rolled out of bed he burrowed deeper under the covers. He was, in short, a lump of moaning pain.

I was pottering around the kitchen in a t-shirt dress sipping tea when Matt finally appeared. His hair stuck up in random tufts and his complexion had an interesting green hue but he was up and moving. He shuffled over to the kitchen island and slumped on to a stool. He winced as I punched out the launch sequence for the coffee machine and it roared to life. He was gulping down coffee and clutching his coffee mug like it was a lifeline when I slid a plate of toast over toward him.

He wrinkled his nose and curled his upper lip. "I don't think so Sunshine." He eyed the plate with distaste and pushed it away.

"Eat it Matthew, you'll thank me later." I nudged it back toward him with the tip of my finger. He picked up a piece of toast and tilted it this way and that examining it before gingerly taking a bite. He chewed carefully before raising his eyebrows in surprise.

"Why you're right Caitlin," I prompted, "this Vegemite toast is delicious. I can feel the vitamin B doing wonders for my hangover." I smirked at him.

Matt's dimples mad an appearance as he reached out and grabbed my arm pulling me to stand between his legs. He nuzzled into the hollow of my throat and murmured, "Sometimes you're a real smartass you know that?"

I shivered as his hot breath tickled my skin. His hands slid up under the hem of my skirt and I said on a gasping breath, "You may have mentioned this once or twice before."

His chuckle reverberated against my skin and he stroked his hands up and down the back of my thighs and over the curve of my bottom before he abruptly withdrew them and rested his hands on my hips as he drew back and looked me in the eye.

"I'm sorry I behaved like a dickhead last night." His eyes were filled with apology and his voice was rough with apology and his lingering cold, no doubt been exacerbated by the amount of alcohol he'd consumed the night before.

I could have said the easy thing and told him not worry about it but instead I said, "I don't like when you write yourself off like that. That wasn't fun for you, or for anyone watching."

Matt swallowed hard, "It wasn't. Fun I mean. I hate drinking when I'm angry like that. I never feel any better I never even feel drunk and last night even though at the time I'd have sworn I wasn't drunk I felt worse than I ever have before."

"Trust me, you were drunk. There's an Uber driver out there who doesn't know whether to think himself lucky you didn't hurl in his car or to curse his misfortune in not being able to bottle your puke and sell it on eBay."

Matt scrubbed his hands over his face. "Oh I know I was drunk, believe me, I really fucking know." He dropped his head on to my shoulder for a moment before looking back up at me. "I just really fucking hate it when people assume that you're going to leave soon. Like your place here is only temporary."

"But Matt what else are they supposed to think? My job here was to help you get back on your feet, it's not like they're going to think that's a permanent thing. Especially seeing as everything about me even being in this country was supposed to be temporary. Heck Matt, I don't even have a car! I'm driving around in yours as a good employee should." I was frustrated, in truth I couldn't care less about what I drove and whether I had a car or not but focusing on my lack of vehicle stopped me fixating on my guilt.

"Jesus Sunshine if you won't even let me claim you in public of course people are going to assume you're nothing more to me than a temporary employee." Matt blew out a rough breath and every line of his body communicated his frustration. "I just don't understand why you want us to be such a secret!"