Not so secret. . .

You came...

Bokang's POV

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Waking up in a hospital bed was not what I was used to, unless I was the one sitting on the chair next to the patient. I was always the one sitting next to little Boipelo. He was always sick, always had a problem with his lungs. The doctors told my parents that they couldn't guarantee that he should live very long.
Brian and Eric sat up immediately when they saw me open my eyes. I could see that Bri had been crying, looking at his eyes.
"Hey... how'd you feel?" Eric asked, sounding worried. I couldn't answer that, so I just smiled and looked away, put the window, and caught a sight I thought I've never see before. There, near the window, stood my angel, looking really scared, or anxious...i couldn't tell. She looked so worried, but it didn't matter. She was there with me, she came. I was so worried that it was just an illusion, that when I closed my eyes for even half a second she would disappear. Palesa Mokgethi...my angel. She was there with me. I heard a chair move next to me and i saw Brian and Eric getting up to leave. It looked dark outside.
""It's late...we better go. We'll come tomorrow morning with Mo and K...maybe dad'll come too."
I understood why he didn't mention mom. I just didn't know what they'd done with her, and i didn't want to ask. I was worried about my father though. I thought he lost it. But who wouldn't ? If your married partner killed your daughter wouldn't have you gotten mad. ? I just wondered how dad handled it. He was strong, but I felt like I was falling apart, and with Palesa there besides me, for some reason it was worse instead of better. Maybe because I knew what she would say. "I can't do this anymore....us, it will never work..." That's what they always say isn't it. ? "It'll never work out..." It's just crap. I felt tears stinging my eyes, without saying a word to her or her to me. I failed to keep our eye contact... So i looked the other way. How could just one moment last forever? Our first kiss. It haunted me like there was no tomorrow. I hated missing her. She was basically a stranger, and i had fallen for her. It was weird, bad yet awesome. She was epic... I thought so, well i did know it too.
Seeing her was like seeing a whole new part of me. My other half...better half.
"Well say something..." She finally spoke. Her voice was trembling, so i instantly knew she was nervous. Was she nervous she was going to dump me? Or will she kiss me ? She had never been that scared with me around. Maybe she was nervous i was going to dump her after what her grandmother said to me. Whatever she was nervous about, I just hoped it wasn't because she wanted to leave me. I just looked at her...and didn't say a word. Not a sound came from my mouth. I just turned my head to look back at her and out the window again. Why I couldn't talk, I didn't know either...
"Bokang please just look at me !" She said, a little louder though. She had tears in her eyes, and she was breathing heavily. I heard her sobs but ignored them quite selfishly. After all, Palesa wasn't the one who said all those bad things, it was her grandmother. I just couldn't understand why I thought she was to blame.
"You didn't say anything. !" I started. Her eyes widened. I was suprised too, I didn't  know where that came  from.
"You stood there and watched her speak to me like that Palesa! You're not so different than her ! Just go! Get out of here...please." I paused to take a breath, then kept pleading her to go. I pleaded. But by the time I finished talking, Palesa was already brushing her nose with mine, comforting me. Somehow telling me she'll never go away from me.
I could feel her warm breath against my bare skin. Closing my eyes was easy, opening them was the real challenge. Palesa was too compelling, letting her go was really hard. I was glad that even though I told her to go, she did not. I was happy with what I had, her... I had her...And i hoped she was happy that she had me under her spell, because I was sure as hell that I was never going to let her go. After all I did tell her to go and she didn't, so she was that hard to let go. I don't think she'd ever let me push her away, that's what I really needed.
For the first time, Palesa didn't kiss me which was kind of weird but good in a way.
She just stood close to me, smiling, and I smiled back. Before I even knew it, she was already in bed with me, cuddling gently. I'd never had something like that with her. It was special, like we were one. I was her and she was me, I was her's and she was mine. She was going to be for a really long time. I intended on keeping her. She was my special Angel. My bunch of flowers. Mine and only mine.
She fell asleep in my arms, breathing peacefully against my chest. I kissed her head gently and closed my eyes, and that was about the last thing I remember when...

"Bec! Wake up your dad's here." Palesa said with in a worried tone.
"I see you've gotten comfortable..." he said in his deep voice. It was already morning and they'd come to visit. The visiting hours weren't supposed to be that early, and the nurses shouldn't have allowed Palesa to sleep with me.
"Hey dad..." I said with a smile. I knew he wasn't mad or anything, but I also saw that he was still doing bad with the whole situation with mom. My father kissed my forehead and smiled to.
"Hello Bec. How are you feeling. ? Doing alright. ? " He said in his deep but gentle voice. I nodded before we all started talking, and I've learnt that Palesa hadn't slept with me. Apparently the nurses came and chased her out. I didn't hide from my father anymore. It was pointless. I knew he wasn't happy with me being homosexual though. He always dreamed of mine and Kgomotso's wedding than we ever dreamt of them. Guess he'd just walk one daughter down the aisle. Probably... The nurse came in and told my dad and Palesa that visiting hours were over. I didn't understand why they kept me that long in the hospital. I felt totally fine. I didn't really feel sick or anything. I merely just fainted, and it wasn't the first time. The old lady came in once again to let me know that I was going to be discharged the following day after they were done with tests.
I couldn't help but smile at the idea of going back home. I just hoped mom wouldn't be there when I did. I'd hate to face her. Personally, I just wanted to spend the rest of my lifetime without seeing her. Which by the way was totally undeniably impossible. I guess I'd just have to face her at some point. . . As much as I hated that.
The rest of the day went on with me eating the awful hospital food, showering even though I hated showers, my whole family visiting, except my mom of course. No was the one who broke it off to me that mom turned herself in to the police and was sent to a women's prison, sentenced for no less than 16 years.
Even though I thought she kind of deserved it, part of me disagreed. I needed her in my life. I loved her. But I guess we would visit. I just hoped she got over our fight. After all I've paid my part, two days in hospital. If only she'd got two days in prison instead of sixteen full years. In a place like that...