Beta Blockers

Chapter 18

Zander’s P.O.V –

“How the fuck could you let this happen?!” my beta, Alastair spat out, pinching his nose as if he was stressed out. Ha; that made me laugh. He thought he was stressed out? What the fuck? I was the one who had to do all of the dirty work. Well I guess it can’t be avoided when you’re alpha and responsible for so many lives. But still. This whole thing didn’t feel right – hurting her like that.

Shut the fuck up, I willed myself. Right now was really not a good time to start developing feelings, especially for that werewolf girl.

I don’t know what the heck has been wrong with me these past months and especially these past few days. I’ve never really had a conscience before – being alpha, I was always ruthless and military-like when it came down to serious business like this.

But something about that werewolf girl made me feel almost guilty for what I was doing to her. I don’t even know why. Sometimes I find myself believing in that crazy old woman’s prophecy. The only reason I was actually doing this wasn’t for her, even though she was the pack elder; I was doing it to prove myself as alpha.

 All alphas have to prove themselves because the responsibility of being alpha was inherited not fought for. All I wanted to do was to prove that I deserved to be alpha but…argh…I don’t even now anymore! This crap is fucking with my head! I just want her here with me…then I don’t have to worry about that fucking alpha touching her. No forget that – I hated the thought of him even talking to her. It was crazy how obsessive I was getting over her. Who the fuck is she anyway to come into my life and mess everything up like this?!

“It’s not like I intended for it to happen! I’m not happy about this whole situation but I’d never shirk away from my responsibilities. I know what I have to do.” I snapped back, pissed that he was talking to me like this. I was stressed out enough, what with her fucking that cocky alpha behind my back. I know, I know – I’m just asking for trouble harbouring any feelings at all for her but I can’t help it. Sometimes I find myself just wandering about her – not just horny dreams like some fucking prick – stupid shit like what’s she’s doing or if she’s thinking about me. Fuck – I sound like some soppy girl.

Watching her for so long it was always clear to me that she liked that bloody werewolf alpha and I honestly never used to give a shit about it. But recently it’s been making me so fucking furious. When I saw her leaving her house one night something in me just snapped. No way was I going to let that werewolf even touch her. Imagine the day I let my future wife fuck scum like him – over my dead body!

Arrrrghhhh, I actually think that I’m gonna go fucking crazy if I leave her there with that bastard alpha. Just the thought of that dickhead marking her made my blood boil. I don’t know how or when it happened but somehow I think I’ve developed some kind of feelings for her. Well, I have been watching her for god knows how many months and she’s been on my mind twenty four seven since that goddamn prophecy.

Damn this shit! I mean, sometimes I wonder if she really is my mate. Is that even possible?! A lycan and a werewolf! Fuck knows but I guess it doesn’t really matter. I’m gonna make her mine whether she likes it or not.

“Well what the hell are you going to do about it? Don’t you think they’re going to retaliate when they find out you kidnapped that old woman and that girl?!” he asked tensely. I’d never seen my beta so anxious before ever in my life. I know he was just worried for me but to be honest I really didn’t need it. I was already pulling my hair out just thinking about it.

She was going to hate me when she found out about my real intentions. How the fuck am I meant to spend the rest of my life with someone who hates me?!

Everyone keeps saying once we’re married ans she’s my mate everything with somehow magically fall into place but I doubt that. From watching her all of this time it’s clear to me she’s fierce. She’s nothing like the other girls in my pack.

There’s just something about her… I don’t know what it is but I plan on finding out. Soon.

Grayson’s P.O.V -

I want her. Bad. And she has nooooooo fucking idea. Seriously.

How can she go and do something like mark me and not even realise what she’s done?! Does she not feel the same burning I feel?! Surely she should now – once someone’s been double marked the pain is two times as bad and the longing…let’s just say I don’t expect her to resist for much longer. If it feels anything like what I’m feeling like now then she’ll be begging for me soon.

I would go and see Nana if it wasn’t for the fact that some dark, twisted side of me enjoyed the pain. It reminded me she was mine. I did this to her and now…she’s done this to me. Finally.

I’ve waited since I was six years old for her to mark her for mine for Christ’s sake! Soon she would mark me and that bloody lycan alpha would be completely out of the picture. Everything is gonna be alright. When my father sees that we really are true mates he’ll soon forget about this arranged marriage crap and let us be together. Hell, he’ll probably be the first to give us his blessing.

I don’t even know why he started this arranged marriage crap anyway – he did it behind my back. I was so furious when I found out. I mean firstly, did he actually think I would go along with it? Who cares if I’m alpha – I’m not gonna do shit like that! It’s not fair on her either. But I guess that’s my crazy dad for ya!

Anyway I already have enough on my plate with this goddamn curse and alpha responsibilities and of course there’s Astrid and her bloody stubbornness. Oh, and that…lycan. I doubt he’ll be a problem though, not now anyways – after Astrid marked me.

Hehe, I still can’t believe she actually did it. And she doesn’t even now! Well I’ll guess she’ll find out soon… She had better anyway because I was not going to take no for an answer.

And with my curse every passing day was becoming more and more valuable to me. She needed to wake up to her feelings before it was too late.