I'm a Sexay Gay and I Know It

Day 13

DAY 13

TUESDAY: 9:54 AM

I wake up gasping for air. I think I’m pregnant!! GOD, DAMMIT! I knew that was too much food I ate last night. I rush out of bed staggering to the bathroom; I lift up the porcelain lid and lean my head over. I shudder at the feeling of it sliding down my throat. After, I’m sure that I puked it all out; I’m left leaning over the toilet with my eyes closed. You should know that I don’t have a really strong stomach. Johnny has a stomach made of iron; god, I swear, anything he ingests stays there, but he gains no weight at all. On the other hand, if I drink, I puke. If I eat to my heart’s content and do it for the African children that have no food, I puke. If I eat anything right before doing anything physical…guess…I puke. Bleh. Life isn’t full of shit; it’s full of nothing but vomit, puke, and me gagging. Yup, I’m living the life; aren’t I?

I flush and get the Febreeze out. Now the bathroom will smell like, I look at the bottle, an ocean breeze. I’m sure as hell that an ocean breeze does not smell like this, but ok, I’ll go along with it because, at least, it smells better than my vomit baby that was flushed down the toilet. My poor baby, sigh. I turn on the faucet, cup my hands, and throw the cold water on my face. I dry myself off with a towel and turn off the light. I open up the door and the room is already lighted up from the daylight outside.

Stupid daylight, go away; I’m still fudging tired. I let out a huge yawn and when that yawn is gone, it’s like my drowsiness left with it. Hmm, that’s strange. I go back to the bed anyway and look for the spot I left on the bed. It’s been filled in and I have, absolutely, no idea where I slept. I remember I slept next to Michael, but he somehow made it to the top bunk during the night. Since, there’s more room at the top with Michael, I climb up and bunk up with him. “Hmmm.” His eyes start to open. “Sunny, is that you?”

“Yes, go back to sleep; it’s only ten.”

“TEN!! Are you kidding me?”

I can hear everybody below start to move around. Great; Michael woke them all up with his question. Nice one, Michael, nice one. After all his yelling, he still doesn’t get up. He just lies there and rolls over on top of me. “Umm, Michael, what are you doing?”

“I’m lying on top of you; why, is there a problem?”

“No, no, stay there if you want, but, yeah, if I suffocate and die because somebody’s body weight was pushing all the air out of me, then you’ll know who it was?”

“Ok, I’ll stay here.” He smiles and then all of a sudden the bed pushes up from the bottom. “Hey, you love-birds!! Shut up, we need out beauty sleep. Who’s up there anyway?” from the sound of that voice it’s Johnny.

Michael yells back, “It’s Michael and his prize!”

“Who’s the prize? It better not be Sunny, Michael or I will kill you and grind your bones to make my bread.”

“No, it’s not Sunny, it’s just some dude that looks a lot like him.” Says Michael, matter-of-factly.

I can hear some rumbling down there and somebody get out of the bed. Me and Michael are just watching and waiting for something to pop out. We huddle to the side of the bed that’s against the wall and look around. Just then Johnny’s head pops out of the side that’s closest to us.

“AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Me and Michael scream. He scared the imaginary shit out of us. He climbs over the side and grabs for me. I cling to Michael, “NOOO, MICHAEL; DON’T LET HIM TAKE ME!”

They tug-a-war over me and, sadly, Michael loses and Johnny pulls me over the side. He storms out of the room, with me slinked over his back, and we start to head to his room. Wow, everything is so…so…neat. I expected cobwebs, but everything has been dusted off. When did Johnny have the time to clean up?