Journey to happiness.

Chapter six.

“Are you gonna slow down, or am I gonna have to jump out of this door and die?” I asked dramatically.

 I knew I wasn’t looking forward for what was on his mind by the devilish smirk he gave me.

 “You’re creeping me out. Stop smirking at me like that.”

 His smirk widened into a genuine smile and he once again turned to face me.

 “I know I’m hot. Even hotter when I smirk, but this…” He said, taking away his hand from the steering wheel and using it to gesture at my creeped out face. “You can just tell me I make you nervous. No need to make a story ‘bout it…” He finished.

 I rolled my eyes and glared at him.

 The usual playfulness and mischievousness in his eyes was nowhere to be seen. He looked like he had something on his mind the whole ride.  

 “This isn’t the right time for your cocky comebacks, you know?” I snapped freaking out more at the car he nearly hit.

 “Just slow down, for Christ’s sake.” I yelled.

 He sight and slowed down, looking at me with a defeated look plastered on his face.

 “Are you finally telling me what your problem is, or are you just gonna keep speeding like a maniac and killing us both and some innocent 80 years old grandmother with-“ When, I said the word ‘kill’ it was bitter, I don’t know why but I didn’t like saying it and I regretted doing it.

 “I kissed Jessica.” He said, cutting me off. His hand clutch tightened around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

 I blinked, once, twice, three times. I tried shaking the thought off my head. Maybe, I didn’t hear him properly. That’s probably it. He would never do such thing. Especially to me. He’s perfect, right? He’s the boyfriend who once made me the world’s best late sweet sixteen. He promised me to always be sincere and never stab me on the back. To always have my back. But sadly my ears weren’t playing tricks on me. And I heard him right.

 “Saturday, at Liam’s party. I was drunk and she was tipsy too. I saw you chatting with the clique and I don’t know what had gotten into me. I just…I’m really sorry. I know I cut you deep and believe me there is nothing I regret more than-than hurting you.”

 I was chatting with the clique. And by that he was referring to our group of friends. Well, mostly his friends, since they were all basketball teammates.

 I saw his face turn from nervous, to troubled, to guilty to finally regretful. He had stopped the car without me noticing. I didn’t even bother the fact that we were parked in a road turn. I just kept staring at him unbelievably.

 “How?” My voice broke, despite the effort I made for it not to. “Just tell me; how could you do this to me?” My voice got higher by every word. “You- you know how I feel about this. You’re the only one who knows what I’ve been through because of a simple mistaken kiss my dad made, but still…You had to make me live it again?” I yelled without a care for the tears that were streaming down my eyes. 

 He hit his head on the steering wheel and clutched it tighter with both his hands, looking more miserable than ever.

 “You said you loved me.” He said.  “Right after that, you had to confess your love for me.” He looked in terrible pain, and I couldn’t stop from thinking I caused that pain for him. “God, I messed up. Big time.” He finished.