The Broken Danvers Sister

Chapter 6

Alex P.O.V.

"Maggie, wha-" Kara starts defending me but I shake my head at her.

"Okay," I agree, looking Maggie bravely in the eyes. She walks over to join us on the bed and that's when I notice her hands are shaking and her eyes are glistening. Maggie sits down next to me, carefully grabbing my wrists in the process. I don't look at either of the girls as Maggie pulls up both of my sleeves and they gasp in unison.

"How did you know?" I ask, still not looking them in the eyes.

"Alex, hon, there were a few blood droplets on the sink." Maggie takes my hand in hers. "I'm gonna have to clean these, too. Kara, can you go get the first aid kit?"

Maggie and I sit in silence as she cleans up my cuts, some still kind of bleeding. She works diligently and precisely and I can't help the tears that build up in my eyes as I look down at my mangled skin. Kara holds me close to her as Maggie finishes and once she's done, Maggie joins the hug.

That's when I break. Tears rolls down my face as I sob violently. They both just hold me tighter and Maggie draws soothing patterns onto my skin. I cry and cry and cry until I can't anymore. When my tears have slowed, Kara hands me a glass of water. I drink it thankfully and then look away, embarrassed.

"Alex, we really need to talk about this," Kara starts off gently and I nod into her shoulder, squeezing Maggie's hand.

"Maggie and I talked and we decided that I'm gonna stay here a few nights with the both of you. Is that okay?" She addresses me like a child but I'm too worn out to be angry about it. I nod again.

"Okay, also, do you think therapy would help?" Maggie asks, running her fingers through my hair.

"No," I creak out tiredly and I know the two women are sharing a look above my head.

"Okay, that's fine. What about some time off work? We can talk to J'onn and..." I cut Maggie off by pulling my head away from Kara's shoulder quickly.

"No, no, no, no. I don't want anybody else to know," I say aggressively. "Please," I plead in a softer tone and glance up. They look uncertain.

"Are you sure? Not even Eliza?" Kara asks and I shake my head rapidly, starting to panic.

"Please don't tell Eliza. I really don't want to deal with that," I beg and they both agree. We talk for a few more minutes until we've discussed everything they want to talk about. After a beat of awkward silence once they've run out of questions, Kara speaks up.

"You must be starving, Alex. I'll order some pizza." Kara saunters out of the room. I lean into Maggie and she slowly lays down with me on her chest.

"Why aren't you leaving me? I'm a mess," I voice my biggest insecurities and Maggie just continues to run her fingers through my hair.

"Ride or die, Alex. That means for even the messiest things. And, I love you. All of you," Maggie says softly and I feel tears prick my eyes. I push them down and snuggle closer to Maggie.

That's when I become aware of how hungry I am. And how the emptiness in my stomach makes me feel. I kind of don't want to eat, instead I want to continue to feel the emptiness and hunger pains. I've done that before, not eaten just to feel pain. Especially when I had to stop cutting. I feel the urge to do this now.

My stomach sinks as the doorbell rings and I groan inwardly. I don't move away from Maggie and she sighs. I know what's coming and I know its going to take away my last bit of pain. I'm not in a hurry to go towards that.

"Come on, Babe. We need to go eat." This time, I groan outwardly but I sit up anyways. I follow Maggie out to the kitchen where the two pizza boxes are sitting. My stomach lurches at the sight but I force myself to sit on one of the bar stools. I've become a master at making it look like I've eaten.

I take a piece of plain cheese pizza and place it on on a plate. I make sure to also grab a napkin. As Kara and Maggie talk to each other - making a point to not focus on me - I eat. Each time I take a bite, I grab my napkin and brush it across my mouth, spitting the food into it discreetly. Once I'm done and I've thrown away the napkin, I glance between the two girls.

"Do either of you want my crust? I don't really like it." I offer out my plate and Kara takes the crust off it eagerly. Neither women seem the least bit concerned and I relax a little at that. I do the process one more time to make sure they aren't suspicious at my lack of appetite, then I put my plate away.

We watch movies for the rest of the night and I'm happy to take my mind off the other things. Throughout the night, I take moments to focus in on my hunger. I haven't eaten since dinner last night and I feel accomplished. When it's time for us to sleep, Kara spreads out on the couch with the blankets we give her. Then, Maggie and I go to the bedroom.

We go through our nightly routines, then crawl into bed. Maggie holds me close in her arms, my head resting under her chin. I feel safe and warm in her arms. With that, I fall asleep with pain in my stomach and relief in my heart.