Don't You Dare: A Synyster Gates Story

Chapter Nineteen

Brian thought that there would be a weight lifted off of his shoulders after he finally told Aubrey that he loved her, but he was wrong. Dead wrong. In actuality, he felt worse, more weighted. It was almost painful how much he missed her now that he knew she felt the same way.

He never intended for those words to slip out of his mouth as he perched outside his hotel room that early morning of confessions. But it felt so right, he just uttered the words with ease.

But now he regretted it. Not because those words weren't true - they were still damn true - but because he wasn't able to see her, to feel her, to hold her, or to kiss her after she reciprocated those daring words.

He assumed she felt the same way about the whole exchange, because neither of them had spoken about that morning or said those words to each other again. And in the three weeks that had passed, Aubrey had been so busy, they had hardly spoken much at all other than the occasional text throughout the day or quick phone call when they both had a free second. She had been working her ass off, and although he missed talking to her, sometimes it made the distance a little easier.

Which is why he stared at his phone in his hand, debating over whether to call her or not. He had a free second. Well, since they had started on Warped Tour a week ago, he found himself having a lot of 'free seconds,' way more than usual. But he was hesitant. He wanted to talk to her but sometimes talking to her was just a tease of what he couldn't have in front of him.

It made him feel guilty, like he was betraying her, but he decided against calling her for the time being. He shoved his phone back in his pocket and lit a cigarette then leaned against the side of the bus, letting the nicotine wash calm throughout his body.

"Tell me, Val!" A familiar voice shouted.

Brian glanced over to see Jimmy trailing close behind Valary as they stepped off of the bus.

"Chill," Val demanded sternly.

"If you don't tell me who you're looking for, I am going to scream at the top of my lungs," Jimmy threatened like a child.

"You'll see in a second!" Valary replied shortly through gritted teeth, clearly fed up with Jimmy's pestering. She locked eyes with Brian for a moment then turned back to Jimmy. "Just... wait here, okay?"

Jimmy huffed, slouching, but relented. "Fine." He crossed his arms over his chest and watched as Val walked away. He leaned back on the bus then looked at Brian. "Hey, let me bum a cigarette."

Brian rolled his eyes with the slightest smirk and handed Jimmy the pack of cigarettes and his lighter.

"Thanks," Jimmy mumbled, holding the stick between his lips as he lit the end of it.

They smoked their cigarettes in silence, for which Brian was appreciative, until Zack quickly shuffled off of the bus.

"Dude, I've been looking all over for you," Zack stated to Brian. "Did you read that email from Schecter yet?"

Brian shook his head. "No, why?"

"They sent some new body and neck designs, they are AMAZING," Zack exclaimed excitedly. "There are all these new color designs and patterns and gradients, I don't know how I'm going to choose just one!"

Brian felt bad for dismissing Zack as he continued rambling enthusiastically but he just didn't have the motivation or energy to get excited and passionate over new guitars at the moment. And he was beginning to get pissed off at himself for placing so much of his happiness in a fucking girl.

He had never depended on another person for anything before, much less for his happiness. But then again, he had never met someone like Aubrey either.