Under the autumn sky (✔️)

Follow me (15)

I was on my way to Miami. The situation had to be handled in person due to the amount of bad advertisement fans and media they were throwing at me.

After Blake stormed off to the house and Miranda followed him I got a call from Will. He was rushing me to go back after finding out that Ryan told the lawyers we should proceed with a trial. Also, that a private jet was going to take me to Miami, where I was having a last minute interview, that I had to be ready to go to in two hours.

Everything happened so fast, from that moment to this one with me sitting in a comfortable fluffy couch in a private jet. I told Joshua to take me back to the ranch. I had no time to deal with Blake and Miranda, but I made a promise to clear all these unresolved things when I went back.

Blake was still lingering on my mind. He was after all, besides my dad, the only man I've ever loved all my life. Without the dramatic forced intentions of falling in love I still did. I couldn't get over the fact that at some point he loved me too. Why didn't you tell me Blake?

I texted them before I left but still haven't received a reply back. One of three of us should be the rational one and start to talk. Our friendship at the moment was confusing and complicated. A lot of secrets were thrown one after the other in a short space of time; Secrets that we shouldn't have kept from each other.

I was feeling nervous at the sudden interview Will programmed for me. I knew for a fact that it had to be done but I wasn't ready yet. During the last month I've been trying hard to not play the victim role. Ryan did what he did and it hurt me in so many ways that everytime I looked back, I still felt the burning sensation in my heart. It was up to me to not cry in every corner and face what was coming with positivity and strength. Something that my dad had taught me.

I needed to relax now because I wasn't sure of what was coming the next days. I went through my phone to the old conversations we had when we were younger. I laughed while reading them. We were ridiculous, crazy and silly, but we were also carefree and innocent.

Now I understood better why Blake never contacted me again. He saw me with someone else and I can't blame him. I did the same. After I found out Blake and Miranda got married I slowly started to stop texting them and eventually the others too. I found out about Camille when Miranda called one day and told me about it. Everyone got busy; Marley with college, Blake with his business and Miranda with a baby. Joshua was always there from time to time, until he also said work was taking a lot of time from him.

I was as nervous for this interview as the day I had my first kiss on set. The actor was a few years older than me and a few inches taller than me. he was a good looking guy and his smile made him look quite gorgeous. I was more anxious because I didn't want it to go wrong. At the end it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't my first real kiss after all.

Blake was my first kiss.

We were sixteen and both of us were confused. It was the first time I ever felt the sexual tension between two people, it was scary to feel desire towards the boy who has been my best friend since I was born. We were yet, still incapable of controlling our hormones and much less, our emotions.

I wished I could say it was short, soft and innocent, but it wasn't. My first kiss was a hot mess. It was during the same summer I got arrested with Joshua .

Blake was in my room playing the guitar, learning new songs for a school show and I was practicing the script for the show's next season. It happened the night before I left back to California.

He watched me pacing from one side to the other in the room while reading the script in a low rapid voice. I couldn't help but frown and stare at the script with wide eyes when I saw the kiss scene; It was my first. I plopped on the bed letting out a frustrated sigh. He smiled before putting his guitar beside the chair he was sitting on.