In Between // phan

Ten

  It had been a few days since Phil had been changed into a Reaper, and Dan would've thought he would have been over the whole thing already, but Phil was still in some sort of mood. He didn't really talk much, and when he did it was short and usually very quiet. He hadn't been eating a lot either, usually just drinking coffee or water. He was losing weight. Dan was worried about him, cazy worried, but every time he brought it up, Phil would close himself off, not saying anything until Dan dropped it.

  He had seemed fine when he went to meet Dan's parents, but after that, he just kinda....shut down. If Dan didn't know any better he would that the boy was depressed. But there was no way, what in the world could have happened that would make him depressed?

  Had the ritual changed him, like it had Dan? Was he going to be like this forever? God, he hoped not. He didn't like seeing Phil this way, it made him anxious and tense, and that was not a good combination with Dan.

  Right now, they were curled up in their bed, not talking, just laying there. It was sometime around noon. Dan had always been a late sleeper, but now and days, Phil slept even later than him. He was usually up extremely early, waking Dan up with his noise, but not anymore. It was just weird.

  Dan wanted so badly just to break the deafeaning silence, and force his boyfriend to tell him what the hell was going on, but he didn't because he knew that it would be pointless. Phil wasn't going to tell him. And he didn't want to pressure him, and make him break anymore.

  "You're all tense, Dan." Phil whispered softly. "Whats the matter?"

  Dan sighed and shook his head against Phil's hair. "Nothing." He muttered.

  "I think I've known you long enough to know its not nothing."

  Dan knew that bringing it up was useless, but he still decided to try. Because this was his boyfriend, and he worried so much, about him physically and mentally.

  "You won't talk to me anymore, you know?" He said quietly. When Phil didn't answer, he kept going. "You barely say anything, to anyone. You don't eat, you barely drink anything. You're in bed half the day. I'm just worried about you. Can you blame me?" He stopped there, not wanting to push any further.

  Phil was silent, as always. Dan didn't even know why he'd tried.

  "I'm sorry...." Phil said, so quietly, that Dan almost didn't hear it.

  "What are you sorry about?" Dan said, looking down so that he was staring into Phil's blue eyes. They used to be all shiny and bright. Now they were just empty, dull. "Its not your fault. I just wanna know what's going on, that's all. And you won't let me."

  Phil closed his eyes and pulled his head away. He looked so damn fragile and scared. Dan wanted to just comfort him, and let him know that everything was okay, but he honestly didn't know how to. Phil had changed. In lots of ways, and there was no denying it.

  "I'm sorry, I'll drop it." Dan sighed, pushing his fingers through his hair softly.

  Phil sat up suddenly, leaning over and kissing Dan fiercely on the lips. As soon as it started, it was over, and Phil buried his head into Dan's neck.

  "Please don't be mad at me." He said.

  "Why would you even think that I was mad at you?" Dan said. Where in the world had he gotten that idea? He wasn't mad that Phil was keeping things from him. Sure, it was frustrating as hell, but he wasn't pissed about it.

  Phil didn't answer, and it was silent again.

  Dan couldn't help but continue to let his mind wander, to all kinds of different theories about Phil's behavior. The only thing that Dan could come up with was the ritual. There was no other possible reason that Phil would act like this. The thought was so damn depressing, that Phil was so affected by the ritual that he'd changed like that. Was he always going to be like this?

  He shook his head roughly, trying not to let those thoughts cloud his mind. Right now, Phil needed him, and sitting around thinking like that, wasn't going to help at all.

  They laid like that for the rest of the day.

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  Dan woke up to Phil crying into his chest. He looked as if he was trying to be quiet about it, but it wasn't working.

  It was still dark out, so it must've been pretty late.

  Dan sighed, wrapping his arms around the crying boy and burying his nose into his hair. "Please tell me what's wrong, Phil." He basically begged. "It's tearing me up, not being able to help you."

  "I just... I can't. I'm sorry." Phil said, and he just cried harder, digging his fingers into Dan's chest.

  It was really starting to irritate Dan, the way Phil was being. It was stupid, he knew, because he knew that Phil couldn't help it. But goddammit, they were in a relationship, they weren't supposed to be doing this to each other. All he wanted to do was help, but he couldn't with Phil being such a.....

  ....such a wuss! What was he so afraid of, that he couldn't just tell Dan what the hell was going on? It got really fucking old sometimes, and Dan didn't know how much longer he could keep up with it.

  But he couldn't just leave Phil. First of all, because he loved him. Even with all this crazy drama, there was not a doubt in Dan's mind about that. And second, he wasn't sure how Phil would possibly cope with him gone. He wasn't trying to boast or anything, it was a fact. He was barely taking care of himself as it was, and Dan had to help him with most everything these days.

  He'd just have to see what happened. He didn't want to wait, cause he wasn't sure how long the wait would be, but he'd do it.

  For Phil.

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  a/n: whoop, haven't updated this in so long. Sorry for the wait guys, I had no idea what to do for this chapter. It's just a filler, really, not much going on.

  But poor Phil. The feels we're getting to me, and I'm writing it. I feel horrible.

  Hope you enjoyed it. Peace :3