Day by Day ~a troyler fanfic

Day Eighty Six

(A/N)

Get your tissues out! this will be a rough ride. That is all. You've been warned. Continue on. <3

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Day Eighty Six

7:06AM

Looking back I realize I didn't leave an end to the night before. Here it is; I went to bed around 12PM. The video had been uploaded successfully around 10:30. But other than those two things I didn't do much.

I didn't get much sleep if you couldn't tell by the time of this entry. My mind was racing all night, which kept me up. There's just so much I need to get done before Korey gets here at 12. And the longer I slept the harder it would be to get finished.

So I'm up.

As soon as I'd gotten out of bed this morning I set up my camera. I wanted to film a Friday video while I had an idea in my head. Filming the video made me cry really hard. I'm sure the viewers will cry even harder when they watch.

I hope they aren't too mad at me.

Maybe they'll understand..

After I had the video filmed I made sure it was edited the way I wanted it. It'll be easier if I edit the video now instead of it getting edited later on.

God these tears are frustrating. They're making it hard for me to see anything. Fuck.

9:37AM

Alright so I've gotten the video edited. It's uploading to YouTube right now. Then later all that needs to be done is change it to Public.

It'll be that simple. Easy.

Next on my list..notes. I need to write notes and explain things. I'll need to write them to different people.

One for Jackie, the best mom in the world. I couldn't have asked for a better woman to raise me. For that i will be forever grateful. I hope she understands. It won't be her fault at all, and I don't want her to think it is.

One for Korey. I'm sorry I just made things okay again. Hopefully he won't be more frustrated with me. That's not how i want to leave things between us.

One for The Mellets, your family. I need them to know how much you mean to me. How much you'll always mean to me. I want Sage, Tyde and Steele to not grieve over me. I'm not worth their tears.

One for my British crew and the LAers. They'll all want an explanation. It'd be too hard to write each note individually. Putting it all in one note I hope that they all get to read it.

I'm hoping this journal will be a good look into why. But if its not good enough I'm hoping the notes will help. That's all i can give to even try and put things into words.

Hopefully it'll bring them all some comfort no matter how small.

10:57AM

Korey will be here within the next hour.

By then it'll be too late.

Everything will be over and done.

Korey if you're reading this journal.. I'm sorry it was you who found me. It all just lined up this way. I love you so much, always remember that.

Well..Here I sit, in the bathroom. On the cold floor, in my sweats and a t-shirt. My entire body shaking with my sobs. Sobs that nobody will hear in time.

I downed the bottle of pain meds as waited for unconsciousness to come.

I'm coming for you Troye. I'll be there soon my love.

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Waking up I quickly got into a sitting position on the bed. I was shaking all over and sweating a ton. Hot tears rolled down my flushed face.

Looking to the side I realized I was not aone. I whimpered when I saw him again.

Next to me the thin figured boy stirred in his sleep. He rolled over so that he could see me. When he saw my face he sat up slowly. The boy rubbed the sleep from his blue eyes.

'Tilly?' He murmured. 'Whats wrong?' I didn't answer I just scooped him into my arms. Happy tears rolled down my cheeks and I broke into a sob. Troye squirmed in my arms as he broke away. He raised a thin brown eyebrow at me.

'Just. Give me a second.' I whispered. Raising a hand I traced his lips, his nose, and touched his hair. Everything just as I remembered. Beaming from ear to ear I leaned forward to kiss him.

'Tilly what's going on?' Troye asked when he pulled away. Frowning I looked down at my lap.

'I had a really awful dream Troye. I'd dreamt that you'd killed yourself. I spent days without you, only to kill myself too. It was a nightmare.' I said with a slight laugh. It was bad timing, but I was too relieved to care.

My Troye was okay. He wasn't actually dead. He'd never killed himself.

Neither did I.

It was all just a bad dream.

When I looked at Troye I saw something puzzling. He wasn't smiling back at me. In fact he looked quite upset.

'Tilly..' He whispered. Reaching for my hands he set them on his legs. Slowly he rolled up the sleeve on my sweater. Under the material there was fresh bleeding lines, and old healed lines. I looked up at him with big eyes. 'Its all true. I killed myself. Everything that you said happened? Happened. It wasn't a dream.'

THE END

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(A/N)

First off, congratulations to PigsAndBooks for winning the contest! I will also be giving a shoutout to you in my prequel!

Secondly..DONT HATE ME!! I'M SORRY Dx

Yes, that is the end. All that's left now is Troye's note. BUT WAIT if this chapter can get only 10 votes, and y'all want it, there maaaayybbeee notes from Tyler as well.

Again please dont hate me Dx you had to see that coming!

The prequel to this book is now up. Go check it out! It's called "Befrore" lol go figure. The name will be changing when i figure out a better title but yeah go read it!

Thank you guys for reading each update, and for the comments, votes, and messages!

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