I'M OFFICIALLY HIS || KathNielReads ||

Officially - 30

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 " Sorry Sam ko, i didn't do anything just to save your father's life, i hate seeing you cry but the least i can offer you now is my shoulder to lean on." 

I cry when marcus said it, this will be the last day of my father's burial, it was exclusive, we all had to say goodbye, even if it's the most painful part, until now i couldn't moved on from the fact that my father had already left us, and i could not do nothing but let him go.

Marcus is seating beside me, his holding my hands while playing my fingers and i am still crying laying my head on his shoulder, daddy is gone, no one will ever call me princess, ngayon palang na wala na siya ay parang wala ng kabuhay- buhay ang mga mata ni mommy, she's been crying all week, my mother cannot afford to loose my father too, BUT ALL WE CAN DO IS SET HIM FREE, LET HIM GO INSTEAD.

Ang daya- daya ni daddy, hindi ko man lang  siya naalagaan, i hate what his idea is, i know it's hard for me too see him suffer, but dad is at peace right now, all i can wish is hope he will find the right path, i can imagine them, kuya angelo and him talking and drinking brandy together, i sigh, when marcus look at me with this  smile on his face, siya nalang ang meron ako at natatakot ako na pati siya ay mawala sa akin, hope my father will understand, how i love this man standing infront of me.

Mommy is still crying she's holding my father's picture, once i caught her embracing my father's picture and asking why he leave so soon, i controlled the tears in my eyes, i don't want to cry anymore, pinahid ko ang luhang tutulo palang sa mukha ko, i don't want my mother to see me crying, my mom should see me strong, i know my father is gone, and all he wants us is to be strong.

That morning, i went home to get dressed, ilang araw  na rin akong na sa chapel naliligo at nagbibihis, naisip kung bago ako pumunta sa libing ni daddy ay maayos ang itsura ko, i want to look  as her princess again, i wear  those pink dress he bought me in my twentieth birthday, my dad's eyes look so wonderful that time when he saw me wearing those, i wanted to look good.

I remember when i get bullied when i was on my second grade, dahil bungal ako, daddy came for me at school, before my brother, his the first one who became my night and shining armor, then suddenly marcus came in the picture siya na yung nandyan para sa akin, i cried when i remember it, na sa cabinet ko parin ang stick ng lollipop na binigay ni daddy para tumahan ako.

I was looking good in the mirror, except for my eyes swollen, habang tumatagal ang araw ay lalo kung na-mimiss si daddy, i was in my room, trying to look good, even if i'm not, iyak lang ako ng iyak,  nang tiningnan ko ang suot kung dressed, i can see my father's peripheral vision "You look good on that baby."  i was kinda sad dahil hindi na makikita ni daddy na sinuot ko iyong binagay niyang dress, i breathe heavily, my father's gonna be happy when he see me wearing this.

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I sighed i hate seing sam crying, nanghihina ako sa tuwing nakikita ko siyang umiyak, habang sinusuot ko ang polo ko, may narinig akong humagolhol, i was alerted by that sound of the voice, alam kung si sam iyon, nang dumating ako kanina ay naka-alis na ang mommy niya, so naisipan kung dito nalang magbihis, i rushed to her room, i saw her weeping on the floor, her head is on her knees, she kept on calling his father.