realization

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~Toby's POV~

I'm lying awake I haven slept in days I never realized how dependent I was on his smooth voice to calm me down or how I only felt safe with his arms around me. I haven't done much of anything else either sitting at Masky's bedside watching, waiting, hoping, hoping that my heart will come back, knowing that if he dosent I will never feel him against me, never hear his laugh, never hear him say I love you, never get to tell him I love him. God I should of said that more I thought to my self quite tears running down my face. "Masky please I can never express how much I love you, but if you come back I'll spend the rest of my life trying to" I beg on my knees holding his hand beside his bed. And for a moment I think I feel him move but I was wrong, it was just another one of my stupid ticks. I hit the ground with my free hand in frustration, this was all my fault I shouldn't of called him to my room that night, i shouldn't of asked no begged him to stay I shouldn't of kissed him, I should of never spoke to him. If it wasn't for me he would be fine nose deep in paper work, he would be here. Hell he probably hates me if it wasn't for me he would be fine. With that thought I kissed his forehead and went to walk away, but half way to the door I turned back around and softly kissed him on his mouth "I love you" I whispered barely Audible forehead pressed to his and I walked out, went to my room and put everything in my room that belongs to him in a box and set it in his closet and pulled off the hoddie i was wearing and set it down on top then i walked out of the mansion.

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