Apartment No.4

Part 66: If I Told You I Missed You

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The week proceeding my miscarriage was rough.
I couldn't bring myself to focus on uni or anything else important. The only things I could focus on were movies and books - and even they were a struggle.

In a week and a half, I'd read five books finished GossipGirl twice and watched the inbetweeners back to back.

I guess I just found solace in living other people's happy endings since I'd lost mine in such a short frame of time. In books I could take happiness for granted, in life, not so much.

I knew it frustrated Mason that I didn't want to do anything despite him trying. He offered we go for a drive down to the beach or go for walks around town but I just wasn't in the mood.

At uni I sat and tapped my pen on my table and stared at my computer screen as through I could see through it.

I just had no motivation to do anything. I couldn't be bothered cooking, cleaning or doing anything other than sitting on the window seat with my book or my laptop until the early hours of the morning.

Mason had been patient up until just now when he snapped.

"Come on, Ashley!" He yelled as he slammed his hand onto the bed beside me, making the covers puff up and giving me a fright.

"What?" I asked innocently, not taking my eyes from my book. What? I didn't want to lose my place...

"You need to do something, get up and dance or make some really weird experiment in the kitchen and force me to eat it. Be you again!" He got up and stormed out of the room.

I deliberated a few seconds before following him. He was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

I stared at him, my arms wrapped around my waist, unsure of what to do.

"I want my Ashley back," he groaned, rubbing his eyes forcefully.

"I'm here,"

"But you aren't. Remember when you woke me up from a nap because you wanted to force feed me a marshmallow cheesecake? Remember how hard you laughed when you realised that you mixed up the sugar with salt and the cinnamon with the chilli powder?"

A slight smile crept onto my face as I remembered him running to the bathroom in shock.

"Remember when you thought I was gonna be at uni all day and I walked in on you dancing around the apartment in one of my T-shirts. I stood and watched you for five minutes before you realised I was leaning against the wall."

I nodded, biting my lip from embarrassment.

"That'sp Ashley. Where'd she go?" He stood and stepped in close to me, taking my waist in his hands.

"She's taking a nap," I muttered, avoiding his pleading eyes.

"I love you. I love you so much and I don't want you to start recoiling into your shell. Let's do something. Let's do something crazy!" His eyes became playful and my favourite smile adorned his face. It was like he'd become a child again, that sense of adulthood dissipated for the smallest of moments and that playfulness had replaced it.

"Like what?" I questioned, nudging him a little, allowing my own smile to play on my face.

He pursed his lips, thinking about his answer before he nodded and pushed me towards the bedroom.