Save Me, Please? [The Rev Fan Fic]

Chapter 12

Okay, I'm a fail at uploading. I really am. I know. I said it was going to be up the next day, and that totally failed. I don't even have an excuse for not uploading, I'm just plain lazy and haven't been on wattpad in ages! I want to say I'll try to update more, but I don't want to jinx it. So. I hope I haven't lost too many readers with my inexcusable delay:3 Anyway, enjoy! :3

The next morning wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. My Mum greeted me normally, and offered to make me some breakfast, which I refused, as always. I sat in the living room, where I found Matt and Jimmy fighting over the remote control. Matt soon gave in when he noticed me come in the room.

"Violet! Are you alright?" he said, far too cheerily.

"Yeah.. I'm fine, Matt.." I said wearily, stealing the remote from Jimmy and laughing as he pouted like a little kid. I put music channels on to keep everyone happy.

"How do you feel about cinema's later?" Matt asked. I shrugged, I wasn't really up for going to the cinemas, I couldn't be bothered, but if it kept him happy and made everyone stop bothering me about 'how I was', then I'd go.

"Cool!" he lit up. "Go get ready and we'll go!"

-

The cinema was boring, for me. The film Matt picked out was supposed to be a horror, but it made me laugh at how pathetic it was. The only real fun I had was when Jimmy and I started throwing popcorn at screaming girls, then pretending it wasn't us.

"You're not funny guys. Why couldn't we just enjoy the movie!?" Matt hissed at us when we were walking back home.

"Um, maybe because the movie was shit?" I asked. "Jesus Christ, Matt. When did you become such a prude? You used to be fun. What happened there?" I snarled. Jimmy kept quiet beside me, just looking on as my brother and I snapped at each other.

"Maybe I grew up? You know, I kind of had to have a reality check, and stop acting up, because in case you didn't know, my little sister tried to kill herself!" he said, his words laced with venom. I could feel my face drop as he said that. And the feeling of why I'd wanted to kill myself in the first place came flooding back. I caused so much pain while I was living. To be dead would be temporary pain, but I couldn't keep everyone happy while I was living. It was an impossible job for me.

"Yeah. I did. I just wish I'd succeded." I said quietly, before storming off in front of them both.

"Nice one, Matt." I heard Jimmy say before he came and walked beside me.

"Violet, listen. Matt's being an idiot, okay? You really scared us, but we're so glad you're back home. You can get through this. I promise you. And I'll always be here, if you ever need to talk. Just don't do anything silly again. Matt's just upset, and he'll get over it. He will. He loves you. We all do." he smiled. I wished I could smile back. But Jimmy said they loved me. As if I was everyone's little sister. Jimmy's little sister. I didn't want that anymore.

-

It was a week later before everything started calming down again. I was due to see Dr. Mass the next day after school. My first day back at school. Nobody but my parents, Matt and Jimmy knew what had happened, and I intended to keep it that way. As far as anyone else was concerned, I was just ill, and I intended to keep it that way.

The first day back at school was worse than I thought it was going to be. Much, much worse. I assumed by now, Sarah would've spread the rumour about the scars on my wrists, so I could handle that. The three boys that came up to me during first period asking if it was true, I could deal with. The sly looks from Sarah and her little gang of wannabe's, I could deal with. What I couldn't deal with was the way my own best friends seemed to want nothing to do with me.

"Where the fuck were you?" Chloe snapped when she saw me walking through the gates. I'd told Matt and Jimmy that I'd be fine, and that they could go on without me. Now, I wasn't so sure.

"I was really ill, Chlo, sorry. I would've called, but-"

"Fucking liar." she snapped. I could tell by the tone of her voice that she wasn't messing with me, she was serious. "I get it. The last day I saw you, I told you about my parents splitting up, which nobody else fucking knows about anyway. I trusted you. You were already off with me for no reason, and yet you let me believe it was my own fault! I don't know what the fuck's up with you, but Carrie told me she saw you with some lads on Thursday. So you're well enough to go out tarting yourself about, but you can't fucking call your best friends?"

"What!? What the fuck. I hardly even know Carrie anyway, she obviously saw someone else. Because it damn well wasn't me!" I snapped back, already feeling the tears wanting to spill over. I was never very friendly with Carrie, one of Chloe's English classmates, but I didn't think she'd be the one to spread lies about me.

"Bullshit! You know what, Violet? Fuck you. You've obviously got your priorities completely fucked up, and I'm not gonna sit by and wait for you to come running back. Oh, and before you go running to Olivia and Nathan, they already know. They don't want anything to do with you either. So just go fuck yourself, alright? Leave us alone." And with that she turned away from me and stormed off towards the building. Anger, betrayal, hatred and pure desperation were building up inside of me. I couldn't stop myself from running after her.

"CHLOE. You know nothing! Fucking nothing! Don't act like you do, because you don't! If you really believe I'd go out of my way to ignore you, then you don't know me at all!" I screamed, standing directly in front of her. I meant to look strong, but I could feel myself crumbling inside.

"That's it though, isn't it? I don't know you at all." she said, pushing past me, ignoring my shouts for her to come back.

-

The first couple of lessons passed by much too slowly, whispers of the fight this morning already spreading, and more prying eyes staring at me as I walked to my next lesson.

"You really are a little emo freak after all." Lewis Mayor, one of the popular boys said to me as I walked into my third lesson, Science. "Hey, Miss!" he shouted to the teacher, "Don't let Violet near anything sharp, she might try to kill herself!" he laughed, leading most of the class to join him.

I sunk back into my chair, willing myself not to get upset over this. It would all blow over, I told myself. My friends were angry with me, yes, but they'd come back. And the rumors would stop. It had to get better. It had to. How could it possibly get any worse?

A couple of girls sat near me turned to look at me with concern. They weren't laughing. It was nice to see that at least someone cared, but it just didn't feel like enough. What could they do against everyone else? What could I do?

I did the only thing I could think to do. I laughed. I held my head high and showed the stupid prick that his immature taunts couldn't hurt me. I was the only person who could hurt me, and I wasn't going to admit defeat again, when I'd just overcome what was by far my worst moment. He didn't know what had gone on in the time I'd been away from school. Nobody did. I didn't plan to tell them either, and so I decided to put up with their silly little comments until they got bored of them, and moved onto something else to keep themselves entertained.

-

This is probably the worse excuse for a chapter ever. Ugh. I'm just totally blocked on this story. I don't know what to write. I've totally lost the hook of it. I have so many other idea's buzzing around in my head, and I really need to get some of them down. I might post some of them soon, if they're any good, and then see if I can get back to getting some more ideas out for this one.

Anyhow, super sorry for the delay :3 I hope you enjoyed it anyhow, no matter how crappy it is:')
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