Rome & Julie

Chapter 20

Rome stared at me, and I stared right back.  I don’t think either of us knew what to do with Jeremy at that point, clutching his nose as he sat on the floor, practically yelling at the top of his lungs.  Even when Maggie rushed into the room, Rome and I didn’t break eye contact.

“Oh my God!  Jeremy, dear!  What happened?”  Maggie exclaimed, dashing across the room towards Jeremy.  I finally looked away from Rome, and stood up off the couch, not at all in the mood to be around Jeremy The Ass.  I began moving away towards the door.

Without a backwards glance, I walked out of the house and into the harsh, freezing air, and began to walk.  And walk.  I didn’t know what else to do.  I didn’t know how to fix the situation.

 

Damn you, Jeremy.

The plaid shirt Maggie had gotten me for Christmas wasn’t exactly keeping me toasty, so I wrapped my arms around myself, looking around the street.  I wondered momentarily what it would be like to live someone else’s life.  People go through life, and subconsciously the world revolves around them in their mind.  It seemed odd to me to think about someone else’s existence and roll they played on the Earth.

Rolling my eyes, I decided that wasn’t the subject to keep my mind off what had just happened.  Nothing probably could, but I’d try.  The breeze drifting right through my shirt and jeans reminded me of how cold it was.

All around me was white.  The snow covered anything and everything, with the exception of those who’d already shoveled their driveways.  Which was odd, considering it was Christmas.  Who would shovel their driveway on Christmas morning?

I kept walking down the sidewalk, freezing my ass off, thinking of pointless thoughts and ideas, and not even thinking about where I was going.  I’d thought about just walking to the park that was a couple of blocks away, and sitting on a swing.  I mean, it wasn’t like it was going to be crowded and full of annoying children.

I looked up at the vast, gray sky, and suddenly I just wanted it to crack open, and suck me up into it.  I mostly just wanted to get lost.  And not face the problems I knew I was going to have to confront eventually.  And what must Rome have thought of me?  I didn’t know how much he’d heard in or listened to mine and Jeremy’s conversation, but I knew he saw us kiss.  Or rather, he saw Jeremy kiss me.

But did he know that I didn’t kiss Jeremy back, and it was bloody awful, and I’d much rather kiss him?

I needed to clear things up with Rome.  And make sure that he didn’t think I was some whore.

As I approached the park, many memories swarmed and flashed in my mind.  I actually mustered enough positive energy from it to smile.  Back when I was younger, going to the park was my most treasured activity of the day, if I’d gotten the privilege to go.  That was Maggie’s incentive for me to behave myself while she taught me, or for me to do my chores without complaint.  It usually worked, because going to the park gave me a chance to see other people.

From being home schooled since I could remember, I hardly ever got to see any other children when I was young, except on those occasions where I went to the park.  We were at that age that who you were playing with didn’t matter, and if you knew them at all didn’t matter either.  Just that they were another kid, willing to play and have a good time.  It made me feel included.