Wild One (A Jason McCann Love Story)

Chapter Eight: Questions and Answers

Questions and Answers

Beads of stray sweat emerged on my forehead. And I stood there silently. Hopelessly. What else was I suppossed to do? All I knew is that I couldn't let him recognize me. But I could sense his sucpicion.

The way he couldn't keep his eyes off me. The way he was breathing. Shakey and a bit off his normal heart rate.

And I couldn't take this. I couldn't risk losing her. She was all that I had in this seriously messed up world. All that the killer had. I shrugged my shoulders in Amia's direction. I know. I wish I could tell her everything.

But I couldn't.

Ever.

Its not possible.

She would run. Far away and never come back. And I couldn't have that. I couldn't lose her. I needed Amia. She didn't know it. But, I knew she needed me.

My ears tuned in to Amia's breath. It was shakey. And she was beggining to get nervous. And the way her father was staring at me wasn't helping at all. I could feel something in the pit of my stomach.

I was nervous.

For the first time in a while.

And I needed to get out. Before I began to freakout. Before my heart rate got too far up. Before I lost all control of myself.

Before I changed.

I arched my brow, turning toward Amia. Her face looked like she was in panic mode. And she couldn't tell why. I gave her a worried smile, and turned back towards the door. I needed to leave.

...

I stormed out of the oak doorway, trying to catch my breath. But I was barely holding on. I reached up to my neck, loosening the collar of my shirt. It was tight. Too tight.

And I could barely breathe. All of this was turning out to be too much. But I couldn't stay away from Amia. Something kept pulling me deeper and deeper into it.

The lust.

The fact of how wrong it was to have feelings toward her. The daughter of the officer who arrested me that night. And that was the night that I was finally caught.

And I never got caught. Ever. But with her ... I wouldn't care if I got caught. As long as we were together.

But I didn't have to turn around to know that she was standing behind me. Her heart was racing. And she was breathing hard. She mustv'e been chasing me down the stairs.

But I knew that I was too fast for her.

Amia threw her hands into the air, letting the pissed off feeling sink in. Mad at me because I just walked out without saying goodbye. She was upset. And I could feel it.

Amia's lips cracked open.

"What the hell was that Jason?" Amia's words stung a bit. But what was I going to tell her? 'Don't be scared! I'm just a harmless murderer. Oh! Don't forget! I'm a werewolf, too!'

Ya.

Sure.

She would run as soon as I began to take a breath.

I shook my head at Amia, taking several steps closer to her. So I could look into her eyes. I could speak the truth.

"If I could, I would tell you." I whispered against her cheek, leaning in toward her. I wanted her.

I wanted her... everything.

And I wanted her as much as I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her.

"But I can't." I exclaimed, taking a step away from her. Her face was sad. Curious. Like she desperatley wanted to know why. She stepped back, and I could tell.

She wanted me to stay away from her. Just like she almost knew. She wanted to know the truth.

"Ugh!" Amia groaned, tossing her hands up into the air once more. I looked down to the ground, knowing. She was angry. Of course I wouldn't tell her.

I could feel my eyes beggining to get rough around the edges. And I could feel my hands clenching into tight fists. The last thing I wanted was to become frusterated with her.

But I couldn't help it.

I was a beast. I was a monster. And she didn't want me. If she knew, there was no way. No way that she would stay. There was no way on Earth that she would stay with me.

There would be no way that she would ever be mine.

I stompped over to Amia, staring her straight in her eyes. They were just like daggers.

"You would run. And never come back." I spat in her face, narrowing my vision at her. Staring at her once more. I was beggining to get lost.

But I didn't want to her to lose her train of thought.

"You would cry everyday. And you would never know why." I stroked her cheek gently with the surface of my fingers. Her skin was so soft. And she wasn't showing any signs of ripping herself away from my touch.

And I wasn't either. I never would. Amia didn't looked frightened at all. She looked calm. Collected. She was getting lost. She was becoming lost to the sound of my voice. Almost as if I was hynotising her.

And she didn't mind. At all.

"You would be frightened. For the rest of your life, living in fear of what I am." Amia was finally shaken from her daze by my words.

And of course, she was giggling. Under her breath she decided to laugh. Even though this was no laughing matter at all.

I could kill Amia with just a simple twitch or flinch of movement. And in the end, she wouldn't even know what had hit her.

She'd be dead.

In a split second.

Amia wasn't taking this seriously. And believe me, it showed. Her mouth was curved upward into a smile. While mine, was still straight. A totally cold expression. Serious. Definetly not to be messed with at the moment.

But still, Amia was smiling as she opened her mouth. She began to play with my fingers.

"Then what are you?" Amia giggled, gripping my hand now with hers. I bit my lip. The words were fighting to come out.

And maybe one day they would.

But she could never find out.

Ever.

I thought about my next word carefully. And it made perfect sense. Without a doubt, I was just that. I took a swift breath.

"A monster."