"Hey b*tch."
"Did you know—"
"Cut the cr*p. Tell me who changed the numbers."
"Be patient, little one."
"Let me tell you the fact of today."
"... fine."
"Did you know piranhas bark?"
"... wow. Much interest. So fascinated."
"Wow. Much sarcasm. So d*ck."
"...Pffft. 'So d*ck'?"
"Cause that is what you are. A d*ck."
"You are what you eat, babe."
"I do not--"
"Sh"
"What?"
"Do you hear that?"
"... Hear... what?"
"The utter bullsh*t coming from your mouth."
"I see the way you look at Paul."
"Paul- WHO THE F*CK IS PAUL?"
"Someone you are totally in love with."
"I don't do love."
"Yes I know... you do Paul."
"What the f*ck- I don't even know who this Paul is!"
"He is your Paul."
"You're insane."
"And you are Pauling in love Ha ha"
"Oh god..."
"ha ha ha ha ha"
"You done?"
"No."
"The question is; how far have you Paulen? Ha ha--"
*beep*
————————
A/N:
Ohmagerd i just realised I haven't updated in so long huhu 😭 so much has been happening I'm sorry fam
YOU ARE READING
Subscribed to a b*tch
HumorRated R for foul language. --------- What happens when someone steals your phone and changes all your contacts to one person? --------- "Even the word b!tch won't suffice." ~ Damian "Damian is in love with mushrooms. Thank you for obtaining your fir...
