Thrill Seeker

A Visit from the Lovely Ax MURDER!!!

Chapter 5

An hour earlier on a lonely Friday night

I was minding my own bees-wax, watching a cranially stimulating episode of Mind Games on National Geographic when I suddenly had this urge to eat microwave popcorn. I highly suspect that the reason for my sudden craving for said factorian-processed meal of the common everyday lazy couch potato that’s looking for a quick fix of food is because of the new commercial for some gym and it just happened to show some guy eating popcorn on the couch.

So, while I was waiting/ looking at the bag of popcorn as it grew whilst the popcorn popped inside it.  Needless to say, it was kinda fun just, like, seeing this flat bag turn into the puffy bag that it was soon turning into.

Then, a loud knock resonated throughout the house and a sudden flash of lightning and thunder followed then, the lights flickered like a cliché horror movie.Did I mention that it was raining too?

Knock

Knock

Knock

Oh God, if you’re gonna have an ax murderer enter my house in such a clichéd manner then, tell my mom that a love her and, please make my death quick.

The knocking continued without fail and I came to my senses. If an ax murderer came then why would he be knocking? Well, he could have watched the weather report yesterday and timed everything and was waiting for me to open the door and kill me then so that the whole thing would be dramatic in his sick and twisted mind.

Knock

Knock

Knock

Knock

The knocks snapped me out of my frantic contemplation and at this point the knocking sounded a little more desperate then the last time.

Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh   oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh

I’M GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I’m gonna outwit that damn awe murderer.

Grabbing the biggest and sharpest knife from the drawer and holding on to my butterfly knife that I always keep on me due to past horrific incidents in my other hand, I walked to the door slowly and carefully towards the front door.

I unlocked it and slowly opened the door.

While raising my left had that held the big kitchen knife I shouted; “GGGAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” shouted the ax murderer raising a bouquet of yellow flowers.

Wait, what?

“No stop, pleashe don’t kill me.” Whimpered the ax murderer with a lisp?

Ok, now I’m lost.

Standing in front of me in all his cowering glory, stood well, I don’t know if you could call it standing looking at the way his arms were raised to pathetically shield himself with horribly messed-up yellow flowers and him practically kneeling as his knees shook in obvious fear. Anyway, there in front of me cowered a very scared and slightly wet looking geek that looked like he was just about ready to shit his pants.