27: Back Again
[Mase’s POV]
I’m sitting on our old front porch. I can feel the heat of the summer sun. I hear the television on inside, and the sound of my mother humming through the open kitchen window. My eyes dart across the street, just as they do every other time I have this dream. I’m looking for Madelyn, but can't find her. I feel the familiar panic awaken in my body, making it hard to breathe and causing an ache in my stomach. Shit, I think to myself. I’m supposed to be watching her. I go to put my guitar down when I realize I’m not holding it. I stand, walking down the steps and onto the grass. There’s something weird about this dream. Something different.
I’m looking up and down the street, watching for the little pink and white bike that I know is hers. This time, I’ll save her. I won’t let her die again.
A dark, maroon patch of gravel catches my eye. My stomach sinks. That's exactly where it happened. And I'm realizing Madelyn's accident has already occurred . She's already gone.
That’s when I hear someone calling my name. I follow the sound of her voice, straight ahead. Her dark hair falls over her shoulders, and her eyes are bright. She’s smiling, waving at me with one hand, and gripping my guitar in the other. I watch as Lyla makes her way towards me.
I’m confused for a moment, not knowing why she’s here at the place I used to call home. But then I realize, this isn’t a dream of the past. It’s one of the future. One day, I’ll take her there. When my parents forgive me and when I forgive myself. One day, I’ll write her a song and play it for her on the front porch.
“Hurry up, Lyla,” I hear myself saying. I’m waving her over. She’s just crossing the street when it happens. I hear the tires skidding, the horn blasting and then a thud. She’s completely broken. Her body is mangled, bleeding. And all I can think is that I’ve lost her, too.
The dreams were back again. But now they were much, much different than before. I felt the familiar pain of losing Madelyn, and then woke up with a new pain at the thought of losing Lyla, too.
I was sitting in class, still shaken up from what I'd seen last night. I realized I'd slept through my alarms when I woke up, rushing to make it to my next class. The sick feeling in my stomach stuck with me all throughout my shower and the ride to school. And though I knew Lyla was okay, from the text messages we'd been sending each other, I needed to see her and feel her to get rid of the uneasiness I felt. I would ask her to visit Madelyn today. I hoped she would feel comfortable enough to come with me.
meet me after class?I texted Lyla.
why, what happened? you were late today. all okay?she responded.
just another nightmare. need to see you.I replied.
And with that she agreed to meet me during our lunch hour in the art room. I knew Miss Darling didn't have a class then.
As soon as the lunch bell rang, I made my way over to the classroom. I grabbed a pencil and some scratch paper, making a sketch of a girl with a guitar, as I waited for Lyla. I made her hair dark, and long. I drew in her big, bright eyes, and a smile I didn't often see. One that was genuine and real.
"She's pretty," I heard her say. And I smiled.
"She's you," I said, looking up to see Lyla, while her eyes were on the girl on paper. I didn't hear her walk in, and wondered how long she watched me sketch.
Her cheeks turned the slightest color of red and a small smile found its way to her lips. It took her a moment to lock eyes with me. "So tell me, are you okay?" she asked.
I took her hand in mine and pulled her down onto my lap. She tried to stand, laughing and blushing further, but my grip on her waist was too tight.
"Now I'm okay," I said, pulling her even closer.
"Mase," she scolded, "What if someone walks in?"
"Just stay," I said, bringing the corners of my mouth down into a pretend frown.
She watched me for a moment, her eyes indecisive. Finally, she shrugged. “Fine, I’ll stay,” she said.
“How are you doing?” I asked her.
“I’m fine. Want to tell me what happened?”
I let out a breath, hating the familiar sound of tires screeching and bones cracking against pavement. I tried to push it far out from my mind, but it was playing on repeat.
“I had a nightmare again after a long time. But this one was different,” I said.
“How was it different?” she asked.
I sighed. “It was different because Madelyn was already gone in this one. And because it was about losing you,” I said, leaving out the gory details of just how I’d lost her.
“Well I’m here, and I don’t plan on going anywhere for a while so don’t worry,” she said, placing her palms on my either side of my face. They were warm, and I wished to stay like this forever.
“I hope so,” I said, leaning in to press my lips to hers.
The sound of the classroom door slamming shut made us both jump just before our lips touched. I looked over, but there was no one there.
“Who was that?” Lyla asked, moving from my lap and towards the door. I followed her, peeking outside the glass window but saw nobody in the hallway.
I shrugged. “I don’t see anyone out there.”
“We should go,” she said, still glancing out the window.
“You want to ditch? Hell yeah,” I said.
“No, not ditch,” she said, laughing. “I meant that we should go back to lunch. Separately, of course.”
“I actually wanted to take you somewhere today. Only if you’re up for it,” I said.
“Where?” she asked, curiosity filling her expression.
“To see Madelyn. I’ve been thinking a lot about her today, and I could use the extra support from a friend,” I said. “It’s never easy going there.”
And it never was easy. I’d only been to visit Madelyn a handful of times in the last year and a half since the accident happened. It just didn’t feel right, seeing her name carved in stone. I avoided it for the longest time, but felt like I owed it to her to visit at least. Since the reason she was there in the first place was all my fault.
I wasn’t sure if Lyla would be up for it. It’d been close to six months since her own mother passed and I wasn’t even sure if she had visited her yet or not. But surprisingly, she nodded her head.
“I’d love to come with you,” she said, a sad smile in place.
“Thank you,” I whispered, cupping her face with my hand and placing a kiss on her forehead. So I left the classroom and went out to the parking lot towards my bike. I’d meet her at one of the back entrances of the school where I was sure Tracy wouldn’t be.
I waited almost ten minutes before I saw Lyla making her way towards me. She gave me thumbs up, telling me we were clear to leave. I handed her my helmet and she got on to the back of the bike, wrapping her arms around my waist. She pressed her cheek against my shoulder blade and I drove. The feeling of being on the bike, the wind rushing past you, was something you’d never get used to. Like always, it felt like flying. But today I wanted to fly a little slower, knowing what we were aimed towards. This, too, was something you’d never get used to.
Author's Note: Working on this story for you guys as often as i can. please vote and leave comments letting me know what you think! i looove reading your comments :)
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The Chord to my Heart
Teen Fiction"When Lyla Carter comes home to find that her mother has committed suicide, she's forced to live with her father who she's conveniently avoided since he left them seven years ago. Lyla does her best to keep everyone at arms length until she meets Ma...
