Passenger

Bittersweet Rain

About a month went by. Doctors were always in and out of her property, telling her one thing, then another. We never knew what to expect from them. Some even turned to help me and my problem, but Lulu refused to let them take me away.

One day, her father returned from his long journey. He was surprised that his bullheaded daughter had fallen for someone, but welcomed me with open arms, thanking me for taking care of Lulu. By then, Lulu wasn't able to walk, let alone stand. Everyday, she continued to slip from my grasp.
It was raining that night. Millard was scratching at the door while I rested in the living room. Eventually, I opened to door for Millard, but took a step outside into the dampened air. In the darkness, I saw Old Billy running in the rain towards me.
"Wes'! It's Lulu! Come quick!" Without hesitation I bolted from the porch. Never had I ran as fast as I did that night. The rain had beaten down on my face, piercing my eyes and stinging my nose. My hair slowly became wet and my clothes began to feel heavier. The porch light was dimmed by the misty air, but it still bled through the thick fog.

Suddenly, I found myself laying in the mud. A sharp pain shot throughout my body. I stood to my feet, stumbling towards the light that had shown from within the darkness. Soon, the porch came into view. Once I had made it to the door, I busted through the house and finally made it to Lulu's bedroom. I was froze in the doorway.

"Hey Wes'. . . ." She wheezed. She was sickly. Sweat ran from her brow as she breathed heavily. She looked thinner than before. Her cheekbones protruding from her skin, which created a deathly appearance. Her eyes drooped and her skin was a pale blue. She was breathing, but she appeared to have the appearance of a corpse.

"Yer soakin' wet. . . And you have mud all over you. Go dry off."

"I'm fine. . . ." She smiled slightly.

"Wes' how are ya goin' to sit with me if yer wet?" Knowing she was right, I ran into Papa's room and borrowed a few things. I came back dry and presentable for her.

"Come, sit." I sat beside her while she laid in her bed.

"Are you okay? How are ya feelin' " I asked. She looked away for a moment.

"Wes'. . . I'm goin' to leave soon."

"Where are you goin'?"

"I'm goin' far away. . . ."

"Well, can I come?"

"No, Wes', you can't."

"Why not? You, you said that you'd wan' me to stay with you." She softly grasped my hand.
"You can't go where I'm goin'," her voice trembled. "You jus' can't."

"I don't understand! Why can't I go? You can't walk anymore, so how are ya goin' to get there? I know I said that I was okay with you leavin' an' such, but yer leavin' so soon."

"I'm goin' to heaven Wes'."

"Where my Mama went?"

"Yeah. . . ."

"Well. . . Yer comin' back though." She shook her head.

"No Wes' once I leave, I can't come back." I just stared at her for a moment. I didn't understand why she was leaving so soon. I didn't understand why I couldn't go with her.

"Oh. . . ." A tear fell from her eye, but I wiped it from her chin.

"I'm sorry. . . I couldn't get better. I tried to keep goin'." Gently, I placed my hand on her cheek and smiled.

"I love you." Lulu froze.

"I. . . I love you too." She cried a lot that night, the last night I had with her. She cried until she had no more tears to spare.

That morning I awoke with her hand holding mine. I smiled for a moment, but it soon faded as I watched her blankly stare at the ceiling, wheezing.

"Lulu. . . . Are you alright?" No answer.

"Lulu . . . ?" Her father walked in.

"How is she?" He hesitated.

"I. . . I don' know. She won't respon'." He stared at her for a moment before he continued.

"I'll get the doctor." He hurried out of the room. I held her hand tightly and pressed her knuckles against my lips.Then, her head slowly turned to me.

"Wes'. . . ." She whispered so softly, I almost didn't hear.

"Yes? Do ya need anything?" She slowly nodded.

"What is it?"

"Come here. . . ." I leaned in close to her mouth. She slowly placed her hand on my face, leading my lips to hers. Though the rest of her face was cold, her lips were soft and warm. When we released, she painfully looked at me. I will never forget that look, that look of defeat and sorrow.

"I don' wanna die. . . I wan' to stay by your side and watch you grow old. I want to watch my father grow old. I'm scared Wes'. I'm afraid to die.  I wasn't at first,  but then I met you. You gave me a reason to live and now, now I regret not livin' in the first place." She cried again. I felt useless, there wasn't anything I could do to make her feel better.

"My mama's up there, in the sky. She tol' me to never regret anythin', because one day, we will see eachother again an' when she sees me next, she don't  want me to regret the things I done in life."  She looked at me, tears stains ran down her face, and smiled a pain filled smile.
"You big dope. Why mus' you be right all the time?" I just stared at her and she stared back. She slowly turned her head forward and gazed at the white ceiling.

"Well. . .this is it. I can feel it."

"Yer leavin'? So soon?"

"Yeah Wes', I think so."

"You caint stay longer?" She went quite as she looked out the window. She didn't want to answer and I knew that. I already knew what her answer would be.

"It's rainin'. . . I like the rain. It tends to wash the bad away and leave a clean slate." We both went quiet for a few moments. Sweat dripped down her forehead. Her breathing was heavy. She was suffering.

"I'll sit with you until you go." She nodded. No
words were exchanged. I sat there holding her cold hand. The rain tapped on the window and slid down the glass. It seemed as if they were looking for a way in.

"I love you."

"I love you too." I replied. She had a broken smile. She closed her eyes as a tear fell from her cheek for the last time.