To Be A Killer

Chapter 37: Congratulations

When we reach the gates of Abel, I don't even give Milo time to go into the tent to get checked for bites.

"You, with me, now."

Kefilwe looks at me questionably, and for a moment she opens her mouth to protest, but her mouth then snaps shut after I send her a warning look. She beckons Polly in first, telling Zach to wait outside for a moment. I just keep walking, and Milo slowly follows behind me.

I can feel him watching me, but he doesn't speak. He's too smart to do that. He's too smart to ask where we're going, what we're doing. He knows. He knows exactly what's about to happen.

Or at least, he thinks he does.

There's a building near the middle of the township that is for interrogations-that's where I take him. Not to make this feel like an interrogation, since I already know what happened, but it is one of the few places in Abel that is completely empty, and I won't have to worry about anyone interrupting me.

He's silent when we go inside the building, but I don't miss his curious eyes as they glance around the room, and how they become even more curious when we go into the actual interrogation room, with the two metal chairs and a desk.

"Have a seat," I tell him, and he obeys. He looks at me expectantly, and I lean against the wall, crossing my arms. "Congratulations. You've just gone on your first run outside. Well, your first one that wasn't just around Abel's perimeter. How does it feel?"

Milo blinks, wondering if this is a trick question. "Well, it was actually really f-"

"Fun? Is that what you were going to say? It was fun directly disobeying me? It was fun putting your life in danger? It was fun nearly getting yourself killed? Nearly getting me killed? Nearly getting your friends killed? It was fun?"

He stares at me in surprise. "I... n-no. That wasn't-"

"Don't," I snap, anger and fury beginning to boil in my blood, bubble under my skin and burn into my throat. It takes everything in me not to yell and scream like a child throwing a tantrum. "You tricked Sam into opening the gates for you and your friends, and you ran off when you knew-you knew-how I felt about you doing things with such risks."

"I just wanted to prove that I could do it, that I could be a runner. You'd never give the chance to show that I could do it."

"And you thought stealing my weapon and running off would make me think you should get to be a runner?" I ask. "Milo, I have to be able to trust the people I run with. You keep doing stupid things which makes me even more positive you shouldn't be a runner."

"You do stupid things all the time!" He argues, slamming his hands on the desk. "You defied Janine's orders just today!"

"And I'll most likely get punished for it! When I'm stupid-when I'm reckless, I get hurt. I pay for it." I lift up my shirt just enough to show the healing scar on my side. "I got the stitches taken out only a few weeks ago. I just got over a concussion. I have lacerations on my back from being whipped. I'm not even completely human anymore because of what Van Ark did to me! I was put through things when I was in America that I can't even bear to think of!

"Milo, that's what you don't understand. Being a runner isn't something that's cool or fun; It's a job, a job that comes with sacrifices-sacrifices I don't want you to have to make."

"But I want to make them. I'm willing to make them!" He sounds so desperate, so angry. "Why? Why won't you let me do this? Why won't you let me become a runner?"

"Because I love you!" I shout. "Don't you get it? You mean everything to me! I love you and your sister more than anyone in this compound. More than Kefilwe or Simon or Caleb, even Sam. If it came to me choosing them or you, I'd choose you every time. Every. Single. Time. And I'm not going to let you get yourself killed just because you want to be cool!"