Funeral

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CHAPTER 10

Charlie POV

I sat upright in the hospital bed staring blankly into space. I thought of nothing. My eyelids were heavy but I couldn’t sleep. I said nothing, I heard nothing. I just stared at that spot letting everything wash over me. Letting everything sink in. I couldn’t bear to see anyone at the moment; I just wanted to be left alone. Alone to my thoughts and my mind and I couldn’t stand being with anyone. The boys visited after Ruth’s death but I sent them away. I couldn’t believe that only a mere one-day ago Ruth had been here…and now…she wasn’t. The more I thought about it the more I felt warmth fill my eyes. Ruth was gone, precious life! And she was never ever ever ever ever ever…ever…coming back. I thought of her stupid, pathetic, ungrateful children who didn’t even see her before she died! I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I felt the tear move over my cheekbone and gain speed down my cheek and make its way to the corner of my mouth. My lips quivered and I flung my body backward to find I was closer to the wall than I thought. I hit my head on the wall. I winced at the pain. That tipped my over. A sudden anger came over me. I slammed my face into my pillow and screamed. I flailed my legs around. I screamed about Niall. I screamed about Harry. I screamed about Ruth. I screamed about being in this goddamned place. I wanted to leave this place and I didn’t just mean this hospital I meant this whole place. I needed to escape away from people and life and everything! It was at this moment I wished fully and whole-heartedly they had pills, which could make you forget everything bad. I don’t remember how or when but I fell asleep for a very long time.

Scarlett POV.

I felt helpless in the days following Ruth’s death. I was surrounded by her mum anxious about Charlie’s test results not being back yet, Niall and the Boys pestering me about Charlie and little lily utterly distressed by the whole situation. When the boys first arrived I was so surprised. I didn’t think that they would have come after what happened with Charlie but they had apparently heard about Charlie’s “state” by state I mean the way she had been acting the past few days. I think it was Ruth who was keeping her sane for a while but now that she had gone…well. She had stopped eating and slept all the time. When she wasn’t sleeping she stared at a spot at the wall and wouldn’t talk to us. I was so scared for her and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. We weren’t sure how to go about this. She refused to see doctors and would have minutes where she would just lie down and scream into her pillow. I was lost.

Charlie POV.

Everyone must have thought I was mental. I couldn’t think straight and I wasn’t myself. Today I had to snap out of it. Today I had to be me again. At nights I would pretend to sleep while my mind drowned in thoughts. Whilst I lay there I heard my mum sit by my bed and cry and I felt my heart breaking. But today was Ruth’s funeral. I thought I couldn’t handle it but I knew that I had to. For Ruth but I think most importantly for me. No one was in my room when I woke up today. I sat up and sighed. My eyes glanced at the chair and noticed a black dress laid out for me. Most likely by mum. I pulled the sheets off me and shuffled to the seat. I grabbed the dress, stripped off and pulled the dress over me. I walked to the mirror and looked at myself. I looked like a mess. There were black bags under my eyes, my hair was dull and lifeless and I looked pasty. After I had fixed my hair and my makeup I slipped on some shoes took a deep breath, put on a fake smile and walked out of my room door. In the chairs were Scarlett, lily and mum. They all stood up in shock once I was in the hallway. I continued to smile as normal as I could. Mum had gotten the doctors approval for me to leave the hospital. For the first time in a week I properly looked at mum and immediately felt guilty for my selfishness. Over the past few days I had not seen how mum had deteriorated. There had been problems with the testing and it has taken double the amount of time it should have. This must have taken its toll on mum I couldn’t believe how selfish I was.

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 23, 2012 ⏰

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