savior

fourteen

DAY THIRTEEN; EIGHTEEN DAYS TO GO

I was late for school. The night before, I had hung around in my mother's bedroom with her, moping about the loss of my unborn sibling. Still, I couldn't believe that it was gone. Mom had made sure to eat healthy and avoid risky, harmful things, and now she was punished for being so careful. It wasn't fair. 

So, the next morning when I should've have been getting ready, I took extra minutes to myself to think. I cuddled close to my blankets and let out a few tears. My mom hadn't been that upset since my father left, and seeing her so low made me feel bad, too. 

Eventually I came to my senses and got dressed. But it was too late by then. I threw on a pair of ripped jeans and a dark shirt. It represented my mood perfectly. Kaitlynn actually waited for me this morning. We walked to school together in silence, but it was still nice. She was always so ready to run out the door before I could brush my teeth, but now, she was staying behind for me, and that made me smile. I think I truly forgave her for all of the insults she threw at me in the past. 

"I feel really bad for getting mad at Mom," Kaitlynn said under her breath. I didn't blame her for getting mad. I probably would've have, too, if I was in her place. "You see where I'm coming from, right?" 

I nodded. She grabbed my hand. Then she pulled me into the second hug we'd ever shared since the incident. "And I'm also really sorry for being so rude to you. I don't know why I did that. None of this was your fault," she whispered, her head placed on my shoulder. She let go of me and we continued to walk. 

"I'm sorry, too, for being rude back. It was stupid," I responded, slowly stepping behind her. 

This was the first heartfelt talk we had in a long time. I was so happy we were finally getting along again. There was such an empty feeling in my heart when I noticed that she was ignoring me. But now, all of that was gone. We were becoming true sisters again. That gave me the best feeling. I felt a weight fall off my shoulders. 

"You don't think I'm a pathetic brat anymore, do you?" she asked, looking back at me. The sun hit her light brown hair, making it look sort of blonde. Kaitlynn was very pretty. It sometimes made me jealous. 

I ran to her side, flinging an arm around her shoulder. "Of course I don't. You're great," I answered. We entered school campus. Because we were late, the two of us had to report to the attendance office and retrieve a tardy slip. So much for Kaitlynn's perfect record. The woman at the desk gave us the small pieces of paper, warning us that if we were late again, we'd have to suffer through an hour of detention after school.

The both of us walked down the hallways after that, our arms linked together. A wave of relief washed over me. It felt good to act like this with each other again. She may have been four years younger than me, and maybe it wasn't considered "cool" for a senior to hang out with a freshman, but the two of us were reunited after a long time of being distant. It was a great feeling.

We finally parted when we reached our destinations. Stepping into my first class was awkward. If it wasn't weird enough to have people stare at me, it was definitely more odd when I noticed that Ashton was staring at me, too. I handed my teacher the slip and turned around, walking towards my desk.

Like normal I knew the lesson before it was even taught. Ashton and I didn't talk much. He tapped on his desk with his fingers a lot, looking down at his desk with what looked like a guilty expression. What could he possibly be guilty about? He looked over at me a few times, smiling a little each time, but then it would fade away and he'd return his attention to the board. Sometimes he would even hit Michael in the face with a paper ball because he was snoozing in the back of the class.

The bell rang in the middle of the lesson. I said goodbye to Ashton, and Michael, who had been woken up by the loud ringing. His expression was priceless.

My next class was math, something I had never been good at. Everyday, I trudged up the stairs to get there, expecting to finally be taught something I'd actually understand, and everyday, I leave, disappointed because I didn't. You'd think with this reverse in time, I'd get it, after being taught it twice. Nope. That didn't happen.

So I sat there, trying to get through the problems sitting in front of me, but I was still so confused. And so was everyone else. When class was almost halfway over, my teacher gave up and told us we'd go through it again the next day. And even now, after seeing it again, watching the way his shoulders slumped and his eyes rolled back in his head, made me laugh to myself. He got frustrated so easily.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I got a glimpse of who was sitting behind me. How had I not noticed before?

"Hi," Luke said, a wide, toothy smile on his face. He was leaning over the top of his desk. His legs were sprawled out in front of him, tapping on the legs of my desk. Anna was right, the lip ring did look good.

"Uh, hey," I said, cautiously. I turned around, in order to properly have a conversation with him. He may be annoying, and we did break up almost three months ago, but it was still rude to ignore someone. I had been taught that all my life. "What's up?"

He smiled, like he had achieved something big. Luke avoided me for a long time—probably because he respected the fact that I didn't want to associate with him—but now, he had started to get a little more confident, and had the guts to make conversation. He was probably proud of himself.

"You look really pretty today, Regan," he commented, running his fingers through his hair. He fixed the messy strands without a mirror, but they ended up looking perfect.

That was the thing about Luke. Everything he did was so perfect. He had his flaws—I had plenty of time to learn about them—but he still managed to be one hundred percent flawless. It probably didn't make sense, but if you knew him like I did, it would.

"Thanks. You, too."

Luke giggled. "I look pretty? Well, thanks for the compliment, Regan, but I'm not sure how I feel about it," he said, still laughing, like he was at a comedy show.

I turned back around, totally flushed. I could deny it a billion time, but even if I wasn't in love with him anymore, he still had that effect on me. The Luke Effect. That's what I had always called it.

Luke was my first boyfriend, and I was his first girlfriend. When we were in sixth grade, we competed all the time in physical education class, with any sport, and since then, we had been friends. We got along quite well with each other. So when we were Juniors, we finally decided to take our friendship to another level. He kissed me on the roof of his house, after we escaped from a get-together that his mother was hosting.

But after our relationship ended, we separated ourselves from each other, just like Kaitlynn and I had. He probably doesn't know why we broke up—I was the one who dumped him—but I did. The feelings I had for him when we were together faded when we were faced with the start of summer. We didn't see each other as much then, and I was starting to get bored. So I called him and ended it. The worst way to break up with someone,  I'm sure.

As we sat in math class, waiting for the bell to ring, Luke started to rub my back softly with his fingertips, like he always had when we were cuddling in his bed. I shivered. The Luke Effect.

The bell finally did ring. I stood up and tried to exit as fast as I could, but Luke was swift. Before I could leave, he made sure he gave me a hug. To say it was awkward would've been an understatement. He told me he'd see me at lunch. Then he left, catching up with Calum, who I noticed wasn't walking with Anna.

I shrugged it off and headed to my next class.