I watched as the fire crackled and licked at the marshmallow on the stick Josh was holding. We'd made our own little fire away from the others. Sometimes the amount of people on the tour made me nervous and self conscious, but I felt comfortable around Josh.
"You're sure you don't want another one?" He offered again, holding out the browned marshmallow toward me. I smiled and shrugged. "Maybe just one." I gave in and picked up my own skewer, piercing my own marshmallow on it.
"Tyler came to me today." He admitted, staring off into the distance.
"What'd he say?" I asked, pulling my jacket closer around me against the cold.
"Said he was worried out you. So tell me, what's wrong?" He asked. This time, he looked me dead in the eye and I shifted on my seat.
"I have these... nightmares." I confessed, my eyes avoiding his gaze. "About what?" I swallowed before considering my answer.
"When I was younger, a man broke into our house." I began, feeling my stomach clench with reliving the fear. I shut my eyes, trying to stop the tears from escaping as I continued.
"He killed my parents, and I only just managed to escape with my little sister. By the time I ran back for my parents, he was gone. And I tripped. When I looked back..." I felt the words get caught in my throat and I couldn't go on.
Josh slung an arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I sobbed into his shirt as he rubbed my arm. "My poor sister has nightmares too, and she's so young. I don't know what to do. I always have to be strong but lately I just can't." I confessed between sobs. My heart was breaking and I felt like a tsunami of sadness had just flooded my world and swept me away with the current.
"Who else knows?" He asked quietly and I shook my head. "Only you and Nikki. Not even Ben knows." I wiped viciously at my eyes, realising anyone could see us.
"Did they ever catch the guy?" He asked and I shook my head. "Never."
I looked up at Josh. "Maybe being with Ben would help, telling him. He might make it easier for you to deal with." Josh suggested and I nodded. "When will you tell him?" He asked and I shrugged.
"I'm not sure. It's not the greatest conversation starter." I sniffed and he handed me a tissue. "Thanks."
Nikki and Ben would start to wonder where I was. I looked around until I spotted Danny waltzing around proudly. He must have won the shots competition. Behind him, Ben followed and I smiled a little seeing how happy he was. I couldn't ruin his good mood with my problems, it just wasn't fair to place such a burden on his shoulders.
"Ash!" Tyler called as he jogged over. Josh and I greeted him and he sat beside me, helping himself to the marshmallows. "I was wondering if you would like to meet someone." He wondered and I smiled. "Of course, who?"
Tyler grinned and took my hand, hoisting me up. "It's a surprise." Josh got up and followed. "Is it Jer-"
"Shut up! You'll ruin it!" Tyler laughed, punching Josh in the arm playfully.
"Jeremy?" I gasped, suddenly excited. I was about to meet Jeremy Mckinnon.
"Damn you, Joshua." Tyler shook his head. "Yes, he's been sick and in the bus most of the tour so far, but I spoke about you so much he wants to meet you."
Tyler lead me to a group of people and I recognised most of them, even Cameron and James were there and they greeted me with handing me a beer.
"Jer, this is the famous Ashlyn." Tyler introduced me to the bearded man with the large eyes and I smiled. "Hey," We shook hands. "Hey, Tyler tells me you can sing." He says with a warm smile.
I blushed. "No," I laughed and Tyler nudged me. "Yes, she's got an amazing voice." He told him and I bit my lip, knowing that arguing was pointless.
"I actually need a singer for Saturday's show. If you're interested?" He asked and I blinked twice at him. "What?" Jeremy laughed and Tyler shook his head. "He wants you to sing with him on stage, you goose." He grinned and I looked at Jeremy who nodded.
"Really? I don't know if I can.." I confessed and looked down. "I've never sung in front of that many people before." I admitted and Tyler placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "There's a first time for everything. I know you'll be fantastic." I was practically knawing my bottom lip off and Jeremy nudged me. "The song is 'If It Means Alot to You.'" He said, trying to convince me. I sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "Okay, I'll do it." I smiled and Jeremy and Tyler cheered before embracing me in a group hug. I laughed and saw Ben heading towards us.
"Ben, guess what?" I grinned, running over to him. He seemed drunk but excited. "What is it babe?"
"I'm going to sing with Jeremy at his next show!" I told him excitedly and Ben smiled. "That's brilliant, babe." He ruffled my hair and I gave him a questioning look. "Has anybody seen Ashlyn? I want to fuck you again, where are you?" He called, incredibly loudly may I add.
I blushed a crimson red as everybody laughed and I put my hands on Ben's muscley arms and began steering him in the opposite direction
"Bye guys," I called as they all wolf whistled and joked around.
I lead a rather stubborn Ben to the tour bus and helped him up as he tripped while climbing in. "Let me go, you slut. Where's Ashlyn?" He yelled drunkenly, collapsing on the floor. "It's me, I'm Ashlyn." I sighed and knelt down, brushing his messy hair out of his face. He squinted at me and I smiled a little. "Baby, I've been looking for you everywhere!" He exclaimed with a huge grin on his face.
I suppressed an eyeroll before pulling him up and leading him to the bathroom. "Shower sex again?" He asked and I laughed. "No, you're going to throw up and get some of that poison out of your system." I told him and he did. It took everything I had not to chuck up my own guts at the sight and smell.
Once finished and cleaned up, I helped him into his bunk and we laid together. Within seconds, Ben was sound asleep and I was left with my dark thoughts and the ever nearing fear of drifting to sleep.
