Chasing Dreams

Chapter Eighteen - 'Tough Skin'

 [Edited 21/7/14]

 Chapter Eighteen - 'Tough Skin'

The extended holiday the girls took ended up lasting three and a half months. In the time they were gone the boys had travelled from Prague, through Vienna, Rome, Milan, Madrid and Lisbon before they’d then taken an extended leave from the tour so that they could adjust to the situation. They had just resumed the tour schedule and had just arrived in Milan. It was in Lisbon that the girls would join up with the boys again, not that the boys knew this little fact and from there they would wrap things up before moving on to the American part of the tour.

Lacey had bonded with the two girls in their time away; she would miss them dearly when they were no longer together on their own. She had also got rather close to Ian – who had visited the girls while they were away – so he now knew a lot about her and she knew a lot about him. He was like the cheeky uncle that always looked out for you.

Lacey had talked at length with the girls about her insecurities. Being a child whose dream wasn’t supported by parents was hard to deal with. She knew deep down that her parents loved her but not having their support created a lot of stress for her. She supposed they didn’t understand her desire to escape from reality and her dream of allowing others to escape through her written word.

Because of the lack of support from her parents, Lacey had a deep stream of self-doubt running through her body. She constantly doubted her word, her friendships, her relationships, basically anything that was important to her. She worried what others would think of her, and not just her personally but her work, her clothes, her opinions. She was stressed that despite how much she loved writing, she would never be good enough to get published; she worried that she was throwing her life away on a dream that would never come true.

She’d always been different, not fitting in with the crowd. She’d had various boyfriends but they’d never lasted as long as other relationships around her. She worried that she wasn’t girlfriend material, that she was doing something wrong. She looked at the girls around her and doubted her own self-worth. She was mostly happy with herself and the way she looked but sometimes that little niggle of doubt would enter her mind and she would see perfection in all those around her and imperfection in herself.

Mostly she’d been worrying about how she’d ever get over Ollie. He had been her great love, though she’d been slow in seeing it. She realised that what she’d had with him had been the real deal and she’d been looking forward to spending all her time by his side. Now that wasn’t going to happen and she worried that the events following their breakup had been her fault. Had she done something to make him act that way towards her?

Elena and Jenny did much to alleviate her worries. Of course she wasn’t to blame for Ollie’s behaviour and she must never doubt herself. However, there was only so much they could do. Lacey’s deep-seated depression and low self-esteem needed specialist help and so the girls and Ian arranged for her to see a therapist. Gradually the weight she’d placed on her own shoulders began to dissolve. It wasn’t a ‘one session and she’s healed’ sort of thing but Lacey saw the therapist three times a week for the two months that she was away and gradually her mind started to heal.

The girls had managed to fit quite a few hours of shopping and relaxation around her sessions of therapy.  With the help of Jenny Lacey was finally satisfied with the clothes that she wore.  Jenny said that she was now a ‘perfect fashion icon’ and that statement meant a lot to Lacey. The girls had been right; she had changed during their time away from the boys. However, it wasn’t the old Lacey that had emerged, it was a different Lacey and though the girls were used to it, they didn’t know how the boys would react.