IF I CAN (NOT) BE YOURS

Chapter I- AFTERMATH

(Shinji's POV)

Still, she's nothing like anyone I've ever met before.

Athletic. Brilliant. Charming. The A-B-C of a perfect girlfriend.

Well, how about -

Ass-kicker.

Bully.

Cocky.

Those are also the A-B-C qualities of a girl that you want to get away from —
a self-proclaimed alpha female.

The moment she entered the room everything just fell silent. Including the walls, chairs and the crickets at the back of the board. It's always been like that when she arrives. It's like the rest of us take some seconds to breathe in and absorb her  perfection before our lungs go back to normal breathing.

"Hey, idiot."

She darts her pair of blue eyes on me. Her long red hair sways as she jaunts towards my seat. I already felt like I was called to my death sentence on very short notice.

"Finished already?"

Her cheeky smile was a perfect cover-up for a crime.

"I..."

"You should really think about the next words you're going to say."

One of her brows twitched in an arch and I struggle to speak the acceptable and very limited words allowed for a reply to the most famous red head in campus.

She slowly leans down on my desk. Miraculously, I managed to look away just in time before my cheeks blush.

"I... will definitely finish it tonight."

"Oh?" She drew back and crossed her arms as if she's weighing my words.

"Sorry. I was just really pent up with my part-time job. I promise I'll get it done just in time for your deadline."

"I just want to remind you, Shinji, that my paper is your priority."

I had the courage to meet her eyes, this time.

"Is it? I mean it is."

"Well, what do you think genius? You did manage to wreck my laptop, two nights ago, and destroyed all my saved progress in it, mister clumsy."

Everybody in the room stopped to listen. She was talking about the unfortunate incident at the time I decided to visit Misato's apartment and cook dinner for them. I accidentally spilled the miso soup on her desk and she almost killed me instantly. It was a miracle that I got out of the apartment alive. No thanks to Misato, by the way.

"I talked to the tech guy last night. He's just about to finish installing all software today. He said that I could test the hardware tonight if it's all working fine."

"Emphasize 'if' huh?"

"He's the best in town. He'll get it fixed, I promise. I'll have your device and paper ready in no time."

Dissatisfied, she exhaled her annoyance briefly and turned her back.

"He had better, because your life depends on it."

She walked to her seat which is only a few chairs away from me. I sighed in relief of the morning's tension.

"Hot shot. The morning glory was yours and yours alone."

"Thanks for the late rescue, Touji." He punched my shoulder and slumped on the chair next to me.

"So, what was that about? I thought the Queen doesn't talk to lowly peasants these days anymore?"

The arrogant smirk on his face only meant that he knows how lucky he is to be not Shinji Ikari.

"Right. I always ruin my chance to make everything good with her."

Kensuke flips his phone, jeers to my side and takes a snap photo of us three.

"Your face says it all, Shin-man."

I returned to my laptop and started typing in some words while glimpsing at Asuka who is now chatting with Hikari. They were eventually joined by Ayanami, who is becoming more normal in the last year.

"Those girls and this libido." Touji couldn't help but utter quietly.

"Anything I missed?" Kaworu sauntered to our side. His presence drew both girls' and guys' attention.

"Good morning, Shinji-kun. And I heard libido."

"That was Touji, Kaworu."

"Damn it!" Kensuke combed his ruffled hair.

"I'll never get laid before I graduate, am I?"

The three of us paused at him and then blurted to a laugh.

"Why do you even?" Kaworu covers his forehead with a hand.

"Well! Unlike you, Kaworu, I don't get both gender to notice me. I'm not 'gay and good looking enough'. And I don't play sexy instruments."

"So, you think that's a plus?" Kaworu rubs his chin.

"Touji, here, is a classic jock and it's obvious that the class rep will go to the dance with him. I mean, Hikari is blushing more than ever at the mention of your name. And you, Shin-man."

Their eyes purge me now.

"You're 'THE Legendary Hero' of the 21st century. Every horny girls out there just want to do it with you, sayin 'Shinji Ikari- the pretty boy pilot who saved us from the imminent forces of dark angels, unsupervised, with only his giant dick-robot. I want to get under the sheets with him.' "

His mimicking voice caught Asuka's attention and sent Kensuke a flying textbook to his head.

The campus bell rang and everyone went back to their proper seat. I shook my head and went back to typing.

My name is Shinji Ikari.

I was the pilot of EVA Unit 01 of NERV who inadvertently saved the world and reverted everything back at my wit's end.

And this...

this is my life in the aftermath.