IF I CAN (NOT) BE YOURS

Chapter 9- If I Touch Myself

I have been staring at my ceiling for hours as I lay on my bed in the same room where Shinji kissed me last night. I didn't know he could do it! Of course, what else was I expecting to happen? I mean, the gorgeous Asuka who kissed him back charged her way to his apartment. Twice. What else could that mean for a guy as pervy as him? Shit. Maybe he thought about sensual things because of our clumsy kiss. That must be it! He wasn't sick today. I think he masturbated the whole day over the thought of having sex with me. I mean, I could sense that he wasn't that sober when I came over at his apartment. He must have drank beer the whole day and lied to my face when I showed up to his door. Then, like the idiot that he is, he decided to make a cruel move of seducing me. And I fell for his luscious kiss. And I had sex with him!

As I turn to one side of my bed, I felt a familiar flutter in my gut down to my sexual region.

"Damn you, Shinji. You are a guy after all!" I threw my pillow to the door which abruptly opened, allowing the pillow to hit Misato's face.

"Umpf!"

I got up and raised an eyebrow at her.

"You know, you should have knocked."

Misato glared at me while she swooped to grab my pillow from the floor.

"I guess it can't be helped, but saying 'sorry' first is in order."

"I forgive you." I yawned then grimaced at her. She threw me back my pillow like an irritated sister.

"Whatever. I just wanted to check on you. You were home late and you didn't even eat dinner."

"Oh. That. Not really hungry."

"Really?"

"Yeah." I gave her a satisfying smile.

She winced her eyes as if they're scanning my soul for the truth.

"Seriously, I'm fine."

She took a breath and exhaled in surrender.

"Alright. If there's anything you need."

"Sure." She closes the door behind her and leave me to my privacy.

Classic Misato. After a couple of years of recovery, she still treats me as if I'm her pilot and therefore her responsibility. I guess some things will never change. Except...

My mind goes back to Shinji-kun.

I lie myself down again. My hand travels under my shirt, up to my breasts, remembering how he held them with aggressive lust. My other hand went down to caress my clitoris and vagina -- calling to mind the sensation of being fucked by his impressively hard and large penis.

"Shinji..."

I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I think...maybe... If I'm going to touch myself... again.