IF I CAN (NOT) BE YOURS

Chapter 11 - Heart Breaker

(SHINJI'S POV)

You've never asked her on a date. You never showed interest.

"I'm a dick."

I sat quietly inside the empty train on the way back. I can't hear the music from my old SDAT player anymore. This thing, that has been my only companion for as long as I can remember, doesn't seem to work for me at this point. Kaji's words just kept on repeating in my head.

I decided to stop the player, remove the earplugs, and forced it inside my sling bag.

Now I can hear the train engine heading for full speed. I can hear the reel of the vibration of sliding metals on the train track as the engine pulled to a break for the next station.

That's right. I needed to hear the sound of the real world instead of the words I only imagine when I listen to the SDAT. I needed to hear that I was a dick.

I found myself letting out a heavy sigh again.

I need to do this exactly how Kaji-san said.

I took out my phone and turned my signal back on. Text messages begin to flood in a series of beeps.

Suzuhara : Where are you, man? I finally decided to ask Hikari on a date.

Suzuhara : Hey, when I ask her I want you to be around, okay?

Suzuhara : Shin-man? I'm dying here. Kensuke is useless.

Suzuhara: Let me know when you get this message, okay? I think I'm panicking. Shit.

There's one message from Asuka.

Soryu: A no show?

I have to say something. Think simple.

Reply: On my way to class.

Sent.

I sure hope I know what I'm doing.

(ASUKA'S POV)

Hikari gave me a concerned look. Not something I'd seen in the past couple of years, really.

"I slept with him."

There's no easy to say it. I watch her mouth slowly open in surprise.

"Y-you slept with- ?" She is blushing everywhere.

"The idiot."

"How the- I mean, sorry! But weren't you guys- I mean, were you guys-"

"We're not. I went to his apartment for a seemingly valid reason. We talked a little over a meal. Next thing I know, we're kissing."

I might be blushing a bit while recounting what happened.

Her lips quivered as she tries to hold back emotions.

"What is it?"

"Well, who first kissed who?"

"Of course, it's him! Geez, I'm not that desperate."

She shook her head while a playful smile drew across her face.

"I knew it."

"Am I that obvious?"

 I just confessed to her how I feel about the idiot. I could sense Hikari was holding her breath for a second.

"So?"  Her eyes are teasing me to admit how it all felt.

"Well excusi miss dumdum?!"

Her eyes demand a reply.

"What do you want me to say? I mean, I liked how... he was kissing me? In my whole life, I've never felt so... wanted."