Happy As Can Be.

Chapter 21: This is Gospel

This is gospel

For the fallen ones

Locked away in permanent slumber

Assembling their philosophies

For peices of broken memories

-

Panic! At The Disco

~~~

When I open my eyes I see me.

What the fuck?!

I see me laying in a bed hooked up to machines.

I look so cold, so lifeless, so..... Oh my god.

I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead.

I just stand there staring at myself trying to scream but nothing would come out.

I start to panic yet I can't, because it seems like everything is in slow motion.

My eyes search the room in desperate help.

Suddenly he machine flat lines.

Thank god the doctors would be here soon.

But what the fuck happened?

I can't remember anything except for the fact I may no longer have a boyfriend

But what happened after mine and Pete's fight?

What did I do?

Suddenly, the doctors and nurses come running in.

No.

Down save me.

I'm fine.

I'm not afraid to be dead to die.

They start shocking my chest and trying to revive me.

I didn't want to go back.

Let me die.

Let me leave this awful world.

I don't. Want to go back.

It's so peaceful without everything havering to be worried about.

...

I shoot up gasping for air hearing the machines start up again.

Whoa.

I just had an out of body experience.

This is crazy.

The nurses lay me back down check everything then leave.

After a minute or two one comes back in.

"Your fathers are here" she says.

Oh yeah.

My dad's gay.

After she says that my dad comes in Dallon close behind.

He has tears in his eyes as he comes over to me and hugs me tightly.

"Oh my baby girl. I thought I lost you" he says his voice shaky.

I shake my head.

"I'm okay daddy I promise." I say nodding.

I sniff and pull away smiling at him.

I look at Dallon and smile softly.

"Hi Hero" he smiles warmly,

"Hi Dallon"

I then lay back down.

"What even happened?" I ask looking to my dad who was now sitting in the chair fixing his hair.

"You got in a head on accident" the doctor from the door says.

I jump and look at him.

"Sorry Ms. Urie" he says.

"Ms. Urie is my mother" I say quietly

"Alright, Hero. Well, when you were driving you swerved into the wrong lane and well you got in a head on accident with a truck." He says.

My mind goes instantly to the baby.

"What about my baby?" I ask

He looks at me confused.

"There was no child in the car"

"No. I'm pregnant." I say quietly "well maybe..." I say tearing up at the mere thought of losing my baby.

Sure I'm not ready but still like it's my baby.

"Oh.,, how far along?" He asks worried.

"I don't know maybe like a couple of weeks" I say.

"Oh then you should be fine. If you were further along than that then you would be in huge trouble" he says with a breath if relief.

I smile softly.

"I'll let you be" he says leaving the room shutting the door but it almost instantly opens against a worried Pete running in.

My dad stands up from his chair jaw clenched and fists formed at his side.

But Pete is only focused on me running to the side of the bed grabbing my hand but pulling it away.

"Baby, hero please I'm so sorry I'm so so so sorry I can't." He says starting to cry.

"Go" I whisper.

He looks up at me with the saddest look. I wanted to hug him and tell him he was all mine and that I would never stop loving him and that he's such an amazing guy.

But I can't.

He's hurt me.

Too many times.

"Hero" he says with pain laced in his voice.

I keep my poker face.

"I don't want you here" i say.

He cries more before getting up.

I turn my head away from him as he gets to the door.

"I love you" he says and with that he leaves.

The minute that door closes I break down in hysterics.

"I love you too" I choke out crying into my hands as my dad wraps his arms around me.

What did I just do?

~~~