Waiting for His Reply

Grab you a cup of Tea Lovie👸☕

Hi lovies!!!!!!!! i know its been a longgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg time but I was on a mental break for a reason and a lot has been going on that I didn't have the time to even think about wattpad and my story along with my poems. They basically just stayed in my head and imma be honest with you, i didn't feel like writing about my feelings or indulging myself into my fantasy world " waiting for his reply". REALITY WAS TOO BOLDFACE TO LET ME BREATHE. 

It went from school, to paying for school, then meeting a wonderful guy to then later finding out he wasn't up for the challenge, followed by dealing with that during exam etc etc.

LETS BE REAL FOR A SECOND............................REJECTION is one of the hardest things to deal with, so try dealing with the feeling of worthlessness and undesired😥 along with trying to understand why ATP Synthase is important or even how to calculate the force of a moving object with the pressure of understanding why drugs behave the way they do. LET THAT SINK IN FOR A BIT!!!!!!!!!  

Along with that, people who I considered my friends, were not even close to that. The lies and deception were too much, some were even boldface to whisper in my own room as soon as i left to get something in the other room. The Lord knows why I decided to change my mind and go back to my room, becuz what i heard brought great shock. But such is life, and things like that are apart of it. 

LETS NOT EVEN START WITH FAM STUFF😫😞😭

But I'm not saying all this because i want you guys to sympathize my situation or to make an excuse so that I do not lose followers etc etc. I didn't have to share a bit of my story.

There are people out here who are going through things in life that are worst than mines or may even be of the same level or even getting there. Hear my words: 

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I gave up at a particular point and now I am paying the stupid tax (divorce court lingo) for doing so. Things look terrible right now and maybe you only see darkness and its confusing becuz everyone says that there is a light at the end of every tunnel. 

For the last few months of 2017, honey i wasn't even sure if i was in a tunnel or not. PITCH BLACK!!!!!!!!! But I eventually i grew to have faith in myself and faith in God above. I know it sounds cliche but its the truth. Ask yourself this: 

IF I DO NOT DO IT, WHO IS GOING TO DO IT FOR ME? 

When I was crying on my bed, wondering why I could never be happy for once. I'm talking about runny nose and everything. Girl i cried sooo much that my body ached in pain as if i ran a marathon. Literally weak from sorrows. 

Then I had an epiphany, an "AH HA" moment. I looked around and I realized something. I was at home, on my bed, all alone. That guy was not there to console me or take back the hurt and pain he caused. And none of my friends were there to comfort me, even though I was there for them during their time of need. 

  IF I DO NOT DO IT, WHO IS GOING TO DO IT FOR ME?   

Its me thats gonna write that exam, not them. 

Its me that is going to have to pay those bills, not them. 

Its me that is gonna graduate soon, not them. 

MY LIFE IS MY RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!!!  

I then had another epiphany, "put your trust in God and not in man. He never failed you".  He never did and He never will. Every time i prayed he brought a peace to my heart. When i asked Him for strength to pull through for those exams, He helped me. 

So whether you believe in God or not. Do not put your happiness, career, degree, spiritual needs, emotional needs etc etc  in someone's care. Because at the end of the day they are human beings too and they will make mistakes. Just as you make mistakes. 

Take responsibility for your actions and highlight the part you played in your demise. Look at yourself, analyze yourself. Pay attention to your own habits whether bad and good. Draw some theories and come to terms with it. Then make a way to change your destiny for the best. 

Sometimes things happen to us that are out of your control and it sooooooooooooooooooooo unfair that you have to deal with the consequences. But you have got to make a stand and say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, THIS IS MY LIFE AND I HAVE THE CONTROL". 

So or this 2018, I pray that you all: 

* Find the warrior inside of you

* Forgive the ones who did you wrong (you hating, crying and etc wile they are sleeping comfortable in their beds and living life) 

* Take responsibility for your actions and change for the best 

*Control, watch and observe who comes into your life. 

* Trust in God to be there every step of the way 

*BELIEVE IN YOUR ABILITIES 

* Succeed for you, because only you knows what is best for you and can do best for you. 

*NOT GIVE UP, its doesn't matter how many times you fall, it matters how many time syou get up. Because they want you to stay down but you can prove them wrong. 

So you guys will be seeing more chapters soon, i can't specifically give a date cuz school hasn't laid down their schedule yet but this book means a lot to me and i won't give up on it. THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

So i hope you guys join me #MyLifeIsMyResponsibility 

LETS MAKE 2018 BEAUTIFUL and HEALTHY FOR OUR BODY, MIND AND SOUL