Life is all about GROWTH.
Whether you are 18 or 88, life will always teach you something new, by stretching you and placing you outside of your comfort zone. But the question is , are you ready for the change? Many run from it while others embrace...
I don't know how many times I will have to say it. I don't know what else to do when it came to Kimberly. For years I was haunted by the event, but she only sees her pain and struggles while failing to acknowledge mine.
After the tragedy, for months I couldn't sleep or eat. Just knowing that my best friend in the whole world hated me tore me apart. I tried at various occasions to reach out to her but she would never pick up my calls or respond to my messages, so I eventually gave up.
I knew I should of showed up to the hospital to give my support after that night but I couldn't. I couldn't bear facing her with the words "I'm sorry" knowing that it wouldn't change anything. After all, she didn't need me, she had Abigail and Paris, they were good at those things. I, on the other hand would have made it worst. Why put her through more pain?
I truly believed that she was over the matter but by her actions tonight, clearly the pain is dwelling in her heart. At this moment, I believe that it would never go away. Is this something that I could live with? It wasn't my intention to take him away from her, I loved him too.
"Amara what the hell was that?" Mrs. Saunders quizzed with curious eyes, helping me to stand on my feet.
"She hates me Mrs.Saunders. I thought that we could get past this. She thinks that she is the only one in pain" I wept, tears feeling as though it would never end. With Mrs. Saunder's help I managed to reach the living room and sat on the sofa.
"Is this about what happened three years ago?" she questioned reaching for a tissue on the table, then wiping my tears.
"Honey, she didn't loose a puppy, she lost her child. When a baby is developing in you, a bond is formed" she informed pulling my hair behind my ear and turning my face towards her. "Amara... to her that was the only family she had. You knew her history, her struggles and that is what fuels her anger. In her mind, she is searching for answers as to why you took that opportunity from her"
"But Mrs. Saunders I didn't pull the trigger" I confessed holding her hand tightly as I tried to pull myself together.
"But you were the reason for the trigger being pulled, you brought her there, didn't you?" she said sternly, sitting back and observing me.
"How was I supposed to know that would happen? I just wanted to feel better, I just wanted him to love me as much as I loved him. He was everything to me" I explained arising from the sofa, searching for my keys and purse.
"Exactly you placed your needs and desires in front of Kimmy and her child's safety" she argued, with confusion stained on her face.
"So is it only Kimberly that lost someone? I lost my boyfriend, Best friend, god-son and I LOST LOST MY CHILD AS WELL. NOBODY ASKED ME!!!!!! BECAUSE NOBODY CARED!! BECAUSE AMARA'S PARENTS ARE RICH AND SHE HAS THE PERFECT LIFE. Well I'm sorry to disappoint, but my life is far from perfect. I'm 100% messed up" I shouted, grabbed my keys, purse and headed towards the door.
"Amara wait....... stop, I had no idea. I am sorry that you felt abandoned" she pleaded trying to stop me from leaving but I pulled away from her and closed the door. I just needed to get out, drink and dance till there was no tomorrow. Even though Kimberly decided to back out of the party tonight, I'm not. I will attend and have a good time.
************* 35 MINUTES LATER*************
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