Keep On Hoping

Chapter one

“How do you do it?” Shane asked.

“Do what?”

“Stay strong. I don’t understand how you put up with it. I mean I’ve never seen you cry. But your body shows the truth that lies in your family. And it seems pretty legit.” He was way too serious, more serious than normal…where was he going with this conversation?

 “you really want to know. It’s because of you! you are the only one I have. You’re the first one I trust and the only one I trust. Therefore I have no one else to help me through this. Well that and my parents would kill me this time if I told more people. We were lucky he wasn’t drinking as much as normal the day he found out I told you my life secret.”

“So your father’s drinking habits are even worse now?” his voice was shakey. I grabbed his hand to relief him.

“Well he drinks everyday and pretty much by the end of the day he’s drunk. Most days I just get scolded by him and then I run into my room and relieve myself. I mean for the past week he is usually drunk by now, so I don’t even acknowledge him, if I don’t need to. I mean today’s the first we’ve hung out since his drinking has got worse.”

            “I’m sorry. You know I had lacrosse practice. Are you coming to the game Friday night?

“You know if I could I would so go. But I doubt my mother will see any good with it. She will probably think I’m going to go out to a party and have sex. They have no trust in me so much. I don’t understand why they trust you….out of all people.” I chuckled a little.

            “Thanks.” He rolled his eyes. “You know, they really treat you like shit. Why don’t you take a stand? I think it’s time for a change in your life.”

“Shane are you kidding me? You remember what happened when my father found out that I told you everything. I was smashed into a wall, and he threatened you. We will just keep running in a circle, that’s the way this kind of life-style works. Trust me I would love to get outta the circle, but I’m not the exception in this rule.”

“Kailee, you got to be more realistic here, you got to have hope.”

“My hope is in two years when I’m eighteen, I’ll leave and they can’t stop me.”

“And that’s it, that’s all you’re going to do, you’re going to let them get away with it. With everything they did. You are going to show them it’s okay that they could abuse and emotional and physically hurt you. What does that teach them?”

“What would you like me to do?” I snapped back at him. Instantly I flinched, already in my defensive mood, I watched his every move and every word as my body shivered.

“I’m sorry, I’m just concerned about your life and health, and you know that.” His voice was soothing, but I still didn’t trust his movements, and it’s not because he hit me before, it’s just natural instinct when I snap at people, especially at my father.

            Shane knew the look I get in my eyes when I’m terrified. He was once at my house the one day and my father came bursting into my room and tossed me into the wall. He stood up to him and got punched in the face. I got so scared that I crawled into a corner, until my father left.

            Shane came over and hugged me. I lips were so cut up from biting them to resist myself from crying. I never understood how he could have been so cool and collected when this was his second encounter with my father, while on the other hand, this slowly destroys me.

            When he hugged me a ducked under and started running away. When he started chasing after me my heart started racing, and everything got dizzy. “Don’t touch me” I shouted as he grabbed onto my arm.