He's An Iceberg || Sebastian Smythe

5 - Visiting Pt. 1

Pt. stands for Part for those of you who don't know.

Song: "Echo" By Jason Walker

Third Person POV:

Sebastian was sick and tired of it all. The pain. The sorrow. It was all too much for him. He wasn't design to handle these things. He wasn't designed to hide them either. But somehow he managed to do it so well. 

He wanted to drown himself in his thoughts and just forget the rest of the world, but if he did that he'd be just like the man he despised, and he was already too close to that image. He didn't need to get any closer.

So he gave in to something else. 

Music.

His version of escaping the real world. Music seemed to flow through his soul like water. He needed a daily dose or his life would crumble and fall apart. And he wasn't quiet ready for that. Not yet. 

He walked across his Dalton dorm room. He doesn't know how, but he managed to always get the dorm to himself. Wes was always out partying. Or he was spending the night at some girls house, sometimes a guy. He wasn't one to do anything dirty, or beyond kissing with someone else, he just had too many friends. At least in Sebastian's eyes he did. The bed that rest on the other side of the room was empty. Always collecting dust. But Sebastian didn't complain. He actually enjoyed the lack of company. Of course sometimes that would be all he wished for, but not now at least. Now would be the worst time.

Sebastian was breaking down. And there was no one to catch his falling pieces for him but himself. And he still wasn't sure he wanted to go back together. Not to the terrible human being he used to be. He was at a loss. Confused. Jumbled mess.

Music.

He needed music.

His phone was dead. Charging. Same with his laptop. Time to go old school. Something he didn't mind.

He walked over to his bedside, a table resting by it. His side was closest to the bathroom. Sebastian did that on purpose, but Wes didn't know. No one would know.

He looked at the radio that rest before him. He adored it. It gave him a sense of security that he couldn't explain. A endless supply of happy pills. Music...

He turned it on. Clicking buttons he was familiar with to managed station 94.9 FM. One of his favorites. He stood there, emotionless, listening closely.

The piano keys hit him like bullets. Bullets that struck him so nicely, but he couldn't help but feel the pain instead. He frowned, why did music bring out the best and worst of him? Why not just one or the other? But he ignored the questions as the first line started to play. He walked over to the window, listening.

"Hello, Hello
Anybody out there?
'Cause I don't hear a sound."

Sebastian leaned on the window, resting his arms above himself, looking outside. The world was so beautiful. A mess and mix of what's to hurt him. But beautiful. Why couldn't he be like the world?

"Alone, alone
I don't really know where the World is, but I miss it now."

Sebastian sighed, removing his arm from the window as he closed his eyes, taking in big breaths of sadness and lost hope.

"I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
Like a fool at the top of my lungs."

He opened his eyes. Why? Why was all he saw the bad? Why couldn't he find the good? Was there even any...?

"Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
But It's never enough."

Sebastian walked over to the bathroom, dragging his feet like weights, they were heavy. He looked down, nothing but his socks on. Why were they so heavy?