The Dangers of Falling (in Love)

Chapter 39-

They sit there together in comfortable silence for nearly an hour before Stiles starts talking.

"You're more quiet than usual." Stiles states glancing across at Derek who shrugs his shoulders.

"I don't have anything to say." Derek simply replies and Stiles rolls his eyes.

"Well I have some good news. Jackson has lost his licence for three months." Stiles informs and Derek snorts.

"Serves him right for driving a Porsche that his parents bought him." Derek responds and Stiles laughs with a nod. "The old air seeder is working again, so tell your dad there's no need to rent one."

"My dad is gonna start loving you more than me if you keep fixing stuff around here." Stiles responds as he leans against Derek's shoulder while a sheet of lightning fills the sky around them. He reaches down and grabs Derek's hand but quickly lets go when he feels some sort of material wrapped around it. "What the hell is around your hand?" Stiles asks sitting up straighter as he grabs Derek's wrist trying to look at his hand but it's basically pointless in the dark.

"It's nothing." Derek tries to lie, pulling his hand away but Stiles grips onto it tighter. He pulls his phone out turning the flash light on and he gasps seeing the bloodied bandage wrapped around his palm.

"Derek!" Stiles says in shock, looking at his boyfriends face who shakes his head. "What happened? Please tell me you didn't do this purpose?" He asks but by the sad look on Derek's face Stiles knew he did and his heartbreaks.

"Why?" Is all Stiles can ask, unable to find the words he is looking for as he looks up at Derek who turns away.

"Just don't." Derek replies softly turning away more but Stiles shakes his head grabbing Derek by the shoulder.

"No. Derek, talk to me." Stiles says as Derek clenches his jaw shut before turning to face him. The light from his phone only lighting up Derek's features slightly but it is enough to see the darkness around his eyes and how red they are.

"I've been having hallucinations!" Derek suddenly says a little louder than Stiles expected as he jumps slightly but not taking his eyes off Derek. "It's not just nightmares anymore... I see her everywhere, I see them everywhere." Derek adds softly resting his head in his hands.

"Who are you having hallucinations of?" Stiles asks carefully not taking his hand off his boyfriends shoulder.

"Kate. Laura. Mum. Everyone." He sounds calm but Stiles can tell he is anything but calm.

"Why did having hallucinations make you slice your hand?" Stiles asks squeezing Derek's shoulder for comfort.

"Pain makes them disappear. When I cut my hand on the saw, Kate stopped talking and vanished." Derek explains as he stands up suddenly, leaning his forearms on the railing in front of them. "I don't know why they are happening. I know they aren't real, but it screws with me. I'm not going crazy but there's something wrong with me..." Derek shouts before stopping, not knowing what to say.

"I know you aren't crazy Derek, you have PTSD and that is nothing to be ashamed about. There is nothing wrong with you. You are Derek Hale. You have been through hell and back and you don't take shit from anybody! You are my boyfriend. You are apart of our family. Nothing will ever change that! I love you to the moon and back and there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of that!" Stiles says sternly as he stands up and wraps his arms around Derek's stomach resting his head on his back. "There's gotta be another way to deal with the hallucinations, we will find another way to deal with them. Just promise me you won't do anything stupid, alright?"

"Yeah, I promise." Derek replies in a soft voice turning around grabbing Stiles and pulling him into a proper hug. "I love you." Derek whispers kissing Stiles on the forehead before hugging him tighter.