Charlie

sorry

I'm so sorry for your loss.

He was a good man.

The community will surely miss him.

He is in a better place.

_________________________________

July 7, 1990

The early morning light of day streams through the window. I lay on my side on my dad's bed and watch as the morring past by. I came to dad's house that same night. This is the only place I want to be now. It is where I feel the safest.

Today is the day, the day I bury my daddy.

For the past three days I have greeted every member of the community. They all came to my dad's house. Like vultures circling a dead animal. The women with food they think is the best, and the men with eyes only for the land my dad loved. I have locked up every building other than the house. I refuse to let them near his things.

His room smells like him. I squeeze his pillow closer to my face. His citrus body wash mixed with the Polo I gave him for his brithday makes me want to scream.

The bed dips with someone weight. "Your shaking again. Do you want a blanket?" The voice is low. I only shake my head no.

They move away, and I try not to let my grief rule me. I wish I could wake up the dominant in me. Surely a real Dom would not break down like I have.

First with Griffin in the waiting room of the hospital. The next time when Jake my dad's best friend came to the house. He found my dad when he came to the house. They were going to come to the fireworks together. I was barely hanging on at that point.

The final straw the broke me came last night. I was talking to Mr Thomas the funeral home directory about the last details of dad's funeral. When in walked the Mayor. He gave me his condolences. I could see the malicious tint in his weak eyes. Then offered to buy the shop again in front of everyone in the room.

I was so shocked that I couldn't utter a word." Don't worry Charlie girl, by the time that meeting with the council happens in August. You'll be begging me to take that shop off your hands." He laughed.

Then it happen, Sandy pushed him aside. His face went red with anger as he glared at her. With her flaming red hair and black leather dress she looked like the prefect Domme. I stepped away from Cindy's embrace, and practically fell into Sandy's.

She pressed her lips to my neck. She muttered something above my head. I could not hold back the shutter that racked my body. I soon felt the intoxicating heat at my back as Bull pressed himself against me. I lost it, Bull scoop me up into his arms, and Sandy asked where he could take me that would be more private.

I caught a brief look at Cindy's shocked face as she lead us up to my daddy's room. I am not sure how long they stayed there with me. I just remembered their words. Sandy telling me to cry all I wanted. Bull even gave me permission to hit him if I needed.

I didn't hit him. Sandy had a better had a better idea. It may not be the most appropriate thing to happen, but the two climaxes I had made me feel like passing out. Last night was the first time I really felt like I could sleep. I did wake up once. Griffin was shaking me asking if I was alright. Apparently I was screaming in my sleep.

"You need to eat something. Please" Cindy beggs. I finally sit up on the bed as she sides the tray of food to me. "You don't have to eat it all just try to eat some of it." I watch her leave. She has on her favorite little black dress. It's the one my dad claimed she would catch a man in.