Beaten

5

I peel off my clothes from yesterday and get in the shower, I felt kind of sick, but I'd rather go to school than be stuck at home for the morning. The dried blood rinses off as I shower, showing the small, large, shallow and deep cuts on my wrist. There more than I could count; the cuts stung under the water, and I hiss. I stop the water and get dressed for the day, leaving without eating again. I go to the bush were I threw my jumper yesterday and picked it up, brushing off some of the snow that had gathered on it. I put it on and walk to the coffee shop. 

As I walk through the park I see the school's football team practicing, I sigh and keep walking past. I make it to the coffee shop and sit down in my usual booth. Only a few minutes pass before the doors open again and a very loud group walks in. I look up, it was Taehyung's group. I look back down at my coffee, I grabbed some milk and poured it in, the white mixed with the dark brown, it swirled for a bit and then became a lighter brown. 

I didn't drink any of my coffee, it was more just to look at and hold, I couldn't risk putting on any weight. If I wanted to fit in I should be as skinny as I could get. I look at the time and get up from my booth and go to school. Fragile snowflakes fell from the sky, only to be stomped on. I sighed and walked through the school doors. I didn't want to be here, I felt weak, drained and everything was still a little bit hazy from last night. 

My stomach growls while I get my books out,  I quickly suck in my gut, maybe my stomach would get the illusion of being full. I keep getting out my books, until I hear a loud group again, I look over my shoulder, it was Taehyung's group. I turn around quickly as Taehyung starts to look my way. I didn't want him to talk to me, I feel like I was a burden to their group, it would be better if we kept out lives separate, and then they wouldn't have to deal with my Dad problems. 

I get to my maths class before the bell rang and sat down, people slowly start to roll in the classroom, pretty much all of them drained dead and zombies some with coffees. I sigh, resting my head in my hands, feeling my stomach rumble every now and again. I rest my head in my arms, trying to block out all the noise, trying to gather all my thoughts in my head. I notice that the classroom has gone quiet, and I could suddenly feel someone standing over me, I look up. Yoongi and Hoseok were standing in front of me, smiling. I felt so weak, I felt like if I tried to smile I would break. 

"I didn't see an audience today," Hoseok says with a pout, "I... didn't think you'd wanted me watching..." I say quietly. I felt very uncomfortable, everyone was looking and I was trying so hard to stop my stomach from growling. "Will you watch next week?" Hoseok asks, "if you want me too," I say quietly again. Hoseok smiles at me brightly, Yoongi looked at me, I think he noticed how uncomfortable I felt. "Come on, let's go," Yoongi grabbed Hoseok's arm, pulling him off the back of the chair he was sitting on.

I sit through the whole lesson with my stomach growling, after a while I started to like the feeling of it growling. I looked at the teacher, took the notes, but I wasn't learning. I sigh as the bell rings, I was going to have a lot of homework. I pack up my books, Hoseok and Yoongi walk over to me, "you wanna sit with us for lunch?" Hoseok asks. I look up, "uhh... I don't eat lunch, I have to go to the library," I lie, trying to smile, but it was very weak. Yoongi looks at me weirdly, he didn't sit too far from me, he probably could hear my stomach growling.

"Okay then, just know you can sit with us whenever," Yoongi says, pulling Hoseok away. I pack up my books, and put them in my bag. I sigh and I sling my bag over my shoulder, a few girls give me strange looks, whispering to each other. I just walk out the classroom and go to my locker. I stuff all my books in my locker, checking my time table.

I get out my things and start walking to the front of the school, until I feel a sharp pain running my up arm. I feel my heart stop, I turn, worried that the person might hurt me, beat me like my father does. When I see who it is, it was just Taehyung, I relax a bit, but the stinging in my arm doesn't stop. I look, he's got his hand dead on my fresh cuts, "going somewhere?" He asks jokingly. I get uncomfortable really quickly, squirming my arm, "oh, sorry," Taehyung lets go of my wrist, but it still stings. "You wanna sit with me?" Taehyung asks, but before I could answer he gives me a weird look. "I thought you threw that hoodie away," he says, raising an eyebrow.

I just looked down, I really couldn't explain how my father beats me and says I'm not allowed things like this. "It t-turned out I d-did need i-it," I stutter, feeling my cheeks get warmer. Taehyung smiles sweetly, "okay, wanna have lunch with us?" Taehyung asks, "n-no I don't e-eat lunch," I say quietly. Taehyung rolls his eyes and signals for me, "come on, I could name twenty girls and guys off the top of my head right now who would kill to have lunch with us. But I'm not offering it to them, I'm offering it to you." If this was his tactic for getting me to have lunch with him, it was a pretty shitty way of doing it.

"No thanks," I say, turning around to walk away, but Taehyung grabs my wrist again, I contain my yelp. "Please?" He finally says, the pain in my arm was really tugging at me so I agreed, just so he would let go. I walk shyly with him to the lunch room, I still hadn't been in here, and I don't think I ever would again. People talking way louder than they needed to, the smell of over-priced food coming from the lunch line. Then I see it, the popular table.