Harrison Avenue // H.S.

One More Thing About Elle

Just a reminder that Matt's POV is always going to be from a before Harry time.

[Matt]

            

Here's the thing about Elle... she is strong.

She is strong in her mind. She is strong in her heart. She is strong in her words. She is strong... but she isn't invincible.

Sometimes I think I trick myself into thinking that she is unstoppable. Sometimes I think I convince myself that Elle is certain of every choice that she makes and that she isn't terrified like the rest of us. And the thing is, I think Elle might be even more scared than the rest of us, she's just really good at giving the impression that she has it all figured out.

I remember when we were kids at recess it was almost tradition for a handful of the boys to chase around some collectively decided on girls. Ellison was one of the girls because this was before she was as intimidating as she is now, though at eight-years old she was still extremely intimidating. Plus, even as a kid she had always been pretty and that seemed to be part of the criteria for the girls who would get chased around the playground.

I never participated.

Elle fell into this at first, running away from the boys that would chase her without much thought, like it was just the right thing to do. Elle has always liked running too because she's good at it. Then one day she just stopped. The boys would try to chase after her, taunt her a little, even push her shoulder, but she wouldn't budge.

Then it was like something erupted from her and this might have been the first time she showed truly how strong she was. This might have been the reason people started to feel as intimidated by her as they are now. She erupted and it shook the entire second grade recess time to the ground.

She said no.

Well, it wasn't that she just said it... she erupted no.

Then when we were thirteen something similar happened again. Elle said no and it was like everything that we thought was normal, and right, and just how it was, it was like all of that was just shattered in front of us. It was at Joey Thompson's birthday party and it was one of the first boy and girl parties where it felt like everyone was trying to kiss each other. Spin the bottle, seven minutes in heaven, that sort of thing... I didn't even think that those games were played in real life, but I quickly found out I was wrong.

It's honestly a surprise that Elle even attended this party because by this point she was already in her insistent loner ways. I think her mom would force her to go to parties though, which is ironic at this point because I know that her mom hates that Elle goes to parties now.

Parties at thirteen didn't include alcohol for us though, maybe awkward kissing in a basement closet... but not alcohol yet.

Elle was there though and for some reason she decided to participate in the games. She hasn't always been as anti-social as she as now, as closed off, she used to sometimes play along. And even though I know she didn't choose to go to these middle school parties all on her own accord, I don't think she completely hated them. Obviously, she still doesn't entirely hate social events, otherwise she wouldn't step foot in the parties that she attends every Friday night.

She was the lucky winner to join Joey in seven minutes in heaven. I remember feeling weird about it. I think part of this was because at the time I had a little bit of a crush on Elle, something that came and went as we were growing up. I think part of it was because I had heard Joey talking about her earlier in the week and I can't say I could classify what he was saying as compliments.