A/N: For my Felix fans, this is a hilarious one shot crossover with La Belle Bete. I do believe most of you are currently reading that anyways so enjoy. For my LBB fans, you might want to read Felix after this just to revel in the fun. Either way, this story does NOT take place in LBB in the timeline I am writing about in that story, so you don't have to worry about where this fits in. It's mostly for my own amusement, and yours :D
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Good girls are bad girls that never get caught. -UNKNOWN
You know, somedays I feel like I'm not all that dumb. I pick up on the little clues and hints and get all geared up and ready for the crazy that my world can throw at me. Sadly, those days are few, far between and usually beaten to death by my usual 'too dumb to survive without supervision' style of living. Today was one of the latter days. Which really should surprise no one at all.
I'm the Captain of my own Destiny, which is actually just a cute way of saying that I am a Captain, and my ship is named Destiny. I don't actually have delusions of control over my life. Murphy and her Laws hate me with a fiery passion of hell and she likes to smack me up the back of the head with them often. Why I thought today might be any different is really a mystery, but I was reminded really quickly not to expect things to go my way. Destiny is a big girl; from top to bottom takes a good few minutes and going from front to back is more like a hike than a walk. So when I'm feeling particularily out of patience or just plain lazy, I just hop the railings and drop to the next level, often saving myself a few switchbacks and shaving seconds off my commute.
As I started my leap this time though, I saw flickering in my vision which was my only warning that a Shuffle was coming. Fan-friggin-tastic. I was mid vault, momentum and some physics that still worked ensuring that my ass was hanging over a seven foot drop just in time for the entire Universe to get all bent out of shape. Since the Shuffle affects the entire Universe and makes everything change to suit it's own, perverse mood, I really should have realized that something like this was inevitable. I mean, it's just my luck to be caught with my pants down. Goddess knows that has ACTUALLY happened to me before so there was no one to blame for this glorious lapse in common sense but myself.
My jump had started inside a space ship, achored on the Creole Settlement and ended with me somewhere entirely different. Instead of the flat walkway I had been hurtling towards a time warp second ago, I found my ass landing awkward and painfully on a flight of stairs that was way too fancy for it to ever belong on my ship. And just to make sure I walked funny for all the wrong reasons, gravity was in full force and I got make friends with each and every oh so lovely step on my way down. Yehaw. To add to the special that my day had just taken, there was a whole lot of very strange people staring at me as I tumbled ass over teakettle down the never ending staircase.
When I came to a sprawl at the base of the stairs, I realized a few important things. One, I was definitely NOT in Kansas anymore. Two, these people hadn't been in my ship before the Shuffle, so some how I ended up being transported somewhere else. Three, the angry snarling I heard from the landing I had just plummeted from belonged to none other than my secret lover and very enraged sounding blood slave, Rorick.
"Felix!" my slave's gravelly voice roared out, making many eyes around me to go wide, white and stare upwards in trepidation. In the world I normally operate in, a Captain like me would be free to use her slave in any and every way she chose. He was just a male, a slave for life and with no hope for anything different than servitude. But my own past wasn't quite as clean, or more appropriately, as gutter trash as everyone would assume. At one point in time I had been the First Daughter of a Prime Family. That means money, wealth, influence and a whole lot of 'civilized' protocol. Thankfully I ran away from home before the bad habits of my childhood entirely overwhelmed my good sense and now I acted like the red neck, tits for brains that everyone expected of a Runner like me. I had held onto my Blooded virginity until very recently, subjecting Rorick and I to nearly five miserable years of celibacy and pretending we weren't madly in love with each other. It had been exhausting.
