Angst angst and more angst. Why is it that that's all I can seem to write?! Of course there's some fluffy goodness mixed in as well but my god! I really wish I could write something different and not so... Sad! *sigh* But alas, that's just how my poor demented and mutilated mind works.
Anyways...
So I noticed about halfway through that this kinda became a rant against homophobia. I was originally trying to show Alec's feelings of desperation and such towards the fact that being gay was forbidden and then as I was reading about half of it over I realized that the Shadowhunters are basically one big mess of homophobia. Boy did I feel stupid then. *face palm*
But besides that I just want to say, that frankly homophobia disgusts me. I see no problem in same gender relationships, I believe that if its love, then its love. I actually have quite a few friends who are gay/bisexual, so frankly the things people to people just because they're 'different' both horrify and disgust me. But that of course is just me, so you'll have to forgive me if some of the things in the this fic are well... Harsh/dark/omfg-how-could-you-bastards-do-this-to-Alec?! and such.
With that said, for those that aren't going to read this at all... WARNING: THIS FIC CONTAINS CUTTING AND HOMOPHOBIA! IF THOSE THINGS BOTHER OR OFFEND YOU THEN PLEASE TURN BACK NOW!
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Songs that I would recommend listening to!:
Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb
Five Finger Death Punch - Stranger Than Fiction
SafetySuit -Believe (on the side>)
So, please comment and the like, and enjoy!
;3
~Kayla
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~Perfect Is Not Me~
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"Alec, love..." Magnus murmured in concern.
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Alex glared at the angry red lines on his wrists, tightening his hands into fists as tears poured from his unusually grey blue eyes.
Why did this always happen to him? Why was he unable to control his emotions? ...Emotions that he should have erased by now.
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"Why are you crying?"
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He wished he could be like Jace and lock his emotions away. Away in a dark dark hole, hidden in a locked chest in the very backs of his mind. But Alec wasn't Jace and he couldn't lock away his emotions.
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"Alec." Magnus murmured more insistently, crouching down next to the trembling form of the dark haired boy.
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Why was it that he was always a failure? Couldn't he be good at one thing? Just once?
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Concerned cat-like green eyes watched as the ebony covered head shook back and forth, sending tears flying. "'No' isn't good enough, love."
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His Father had once told him that feelings made you weak, that they brought down your ability as a Shadowhunter, but that you should keep then within reach. Right now Alec just wished that he could get them to go away for even a moment, screw the 'keeping them within reach' part.
