chapter five

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exonerate (v.)
to be free from the weight of your burdens
-Collie's Journal, Edition 2

          JONATHAN glances to Colleen, who stares out the window of the car as they speed along the road to Indianapolis

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JONATHAN glances to Colleen, who stares out the window of the car as they speed along the road to Indianapolis. She's quiet, her mind obviously elsewhere. He reaches over and turns on his tape in the radio, music enveloping them.

  Colleen blankly watches the world go by outside, deep in thought. She's never done anything like this. She's never even thought about skipping school, or defying her mother before today. But oh, she loves this feeling, despite what she knows would come if her mother finds out.

  The music stops for a moment, switching tracks. Suddenly, the familiar notes snap Jonathan and Colleen from their thoughts. They glance in unison to the radio, the lyrics they both know by heart blasting from the speakers.

  'Darling, you've got to let me know, should I stay or should I go?'

  As the song plays, Colleen stares back out the window, a memory washing over her and dragging her down.

  Colleen stands shivering outside a tiny gas station, hugging herself. The fluorescent lights from the sign illuminate her scars, making them appear ghostly on her face. Dried tears stain her cheeks and she struggles to keep from crying more.

  The night is cold, cold enough so that she can see her breath come out in jagged puffs. She glances up to the mile marker next to the road, which reads, 'HAWKINS- 5 MILES'.

  Colleen looks up to scan the road every ten seconds, then back at the payphone behind her.

  After what seems like an hour, a car finally pulls into the parking lot and up beside Colleen. Jonathan, extremely alarmed, leaps from the driver's seat and rushes to her.

  "Collie!" he exclaims, grabbing her. She slowly looks up at him. He looks like he's just woken up, yet his eyes are wide and hold panic and concern. "What happened?"

  Colleen bites her tongue, her throat tightening up again as she gasps, fresh, hot tears running down her face. Jonathan hushes her and wraps his arms around her tightly, pulling her into him. She grips his jacket until her knuckles are white, her body racking with sobs.

  At last, she pulls away and wipes her eyes, trying to explain. "I-It's my mom. We a-almost n-never fight, but when we do..." Colleen trails off, attempting to fight off the wetness in her eyes.

Jonathan shakes his head, his heart heavy to see her like this. "No, it's okay," he says. "It's okay. You're okay," She buries her face into his chest as he rubs her back, swaying back and forth a bit. "C'mon, let's get in."

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