Pure Heart (watty awards 2012 finalist!)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

edited by D.G

It's been a week and I still didn't get anything from Noah. I started getting worried for the first few days. What if I reminded him of his friend? What if I had disappointed him by being a pure heart...could I? Could I actually be one? Could I be that? Am I being chased by some weird men? Am I the only one? Could I ever...could I ever be the same person I was before? Before this madness, before I met Mr. Strange? Before I met...N-n-Noah? I quickly shook my head vigorously, trying to shake the thought away.

How could I dare think of something like that?! How could I? After all what he's done! He's my light. He has always made me happy. He made my life turn around. Even if it sucked, at least I had something to love.  Him. I loved every piece of him.  From his hair to his toes, his smile, his hugs, and who he is.  I loved how he attracted me even without meaning to.  I hugged my knees and laid on the bed, listening to myself talk.  'You're so corny' said a part of me, 'It's such a beautiful feeling' the other part said. 

We'll live together, forever.  A smile ripped across my face. Yeah forever, and we'll live in a large home like a castle. He can be my Romeo, and I can be his Juliet. They love together and live happ-p-pil-ly eve-. no! We're not like them! No! We're not gonna die! Or I hope...a macabre picture flashed in my head. Noah with the blade. No! No! No! I hit my head hard, trying to avoid it.  But even if I'd managed to get it out it would come back. In my bed room at night or day, school, no school. No matter where I went it would haunt me.  The visions would haunt me. But I had a way of escaping, I thought of him as the nice guy, as a guy who wants to help me escape. but I wasn't sure deep inside, I just couldn't, and if he was the bad guy, I hope I'll never have to know.

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I saw the bullet cut through Mish's body clearly.  His body lurched back from the force and I woke up screaming.  The sweat beads on my forehead heavy.  My panting as loud as a blazing horn. I looked to my right and there laid a picture of me and Mish Mish. 

I hesitated at first but then I slowly reached for the picture. I smiled at myself, young and happy, couple of years ago.  I love Mish, and my heart never got over the ache of him missing.  I never really believed he was gone.  His presence was always there.  When I slept I’d imagine his fur rub against my skin.  When I eat dinner I remember  him begging for something to eat.  And I never touched his ball.  It lays there in the corner of my room untouched since his death.  Whenever I see it, I see a figure leap and fetch it. 

The disturbing nightmare haunted me as I tried to sleep, so I got up for a glass of water.  I returned to my room still shaking a little.  I couldn't sleep until I was calm, so I didn't.

Instead I searched the web.  If I was a pure heart, I had to search more about it. To know even more about it. To just make sure...

I clearly remembered what I had typed in the search box.  For some reason I took in a deep breath and held it in right before clicking enter.  Awaiting the results I had the urge to bite on my nails but suddenly the results popped, and my face fell. What the hell? Is this right? I typed it again and clicked enter with frustration now, but still it said 'no results found'. How? There were multiple sight!? Could they been erased? Could it be the people looking for me? The ones who want to kill me? Maybe.

I shut the laptop with a loud bang. I didn't get anything! I couldn't link anything together. Was it because I wasn't sure or I didn't want to. Could Mr. Strange be somehow linked with Noah? Could the strange men who want to kill me be linked to Mr. Strange? Could I be avoiding the truth? Or, was this just something my brain is doing to make things make sense. Could it be that I'm dead? There was this book where this girl died and was living another world without having an idea that she had died.  Could that be the situation?  Nah, that was well, just too weird.  I feel alive at least. 

I rested my head into my arms and soon drifted away......

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I spent the day inside today, it was raining.  I still didn't get anything from Noah and soon I started letting it go, forgetting about him was the best thing to do now.   But I had nothing else to think about, so I ended up dreading my day at home. 

I wish that I still had Marcie.  I know she’s messed up now, but I can’t help remember all those good days we’ve had.  It was fun.  It was also a lie.  It’s hard to think she did everything we did together as a fake.  Maybe she just tricked me, but also learned to like me.  I mean why would she come to my parties, hang out with me all the time, do stupid things I ask her to do, and whatever else we did. 

It’s too much friendship to be fake.  And, if she wasn’t going to say sorry, then I was.

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                “Hello?” I whispered into the phone. “Marcie?”

  “C-casey? Uh…hi?” she said hesitantly.

  “Um…so how are you?”

  “Uh…g-g-ood…I guess?” Silence. “I’m sorry Casey, but, but, why? Why are you talking to me?” I could sense strain in her voice.  I imagined her shocked right now, not knowing what to say or do because I felt the same.

  “Look Marcie, I’m sorry okay?” I said forcefully.  “I just…” I started scratching the back of my head. “I just wanted us to go back to how we used to be.” More scratching. “Before this.” I motioned to the nothingness in front of me.  “Please just, just, forgive me.”  ‘Even though I didn’t do anything.  You’re the one who took my guy!’ I told myself.

  “Um, okay?” she replied.  I waited for something to say. As if it was just to pop in my head.  I had to break this silence between us . It was very, very uncomfortable and uneasy. 

  “So you wanna meet up tomorrow? It’s a Sunday.” I asked.

  “Uh..ok? But where will we be going?” I thought for a while.

  “Maybe, a walk in the park?” I suggested.

  “Ok. It’s settled.  I’ll see you tomorrow at the entrance at the park at 2?” she said thoughtfully.

  “Yup, I promise I’ll be there.” And I shut the phone off.  I don’t know why I did that but I had a feeling that if I didn’t make up with her, I would regret it later on. I had a feeling…….

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